Luigi's Fabulously Fractured Fable
by Minman083
Summary: After a harrowing fall into a chasm during routine maintenance of the warp pipes under Peach Castle, Luigi finds himself outside of the Mushroom Kingdom where he finds the respect that had been denied him for decades. Just when Luigi becomes comfortable in his new community everything goes awry when those of his former home decide that they want their lovable loser back.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

In the years following Luigi's sudden arrival in the land of all things mushroom, it had not ceased to amaze him how the transport pipes that connected the many worlds of the kingdom were a few dings away from catastrophic failure.

"Was there ever a point in your life when you were something other than the party killing, fun crushing worrywart that you are today?" asked an almost disgusted Princess Peach when Luigi confronted her with his troubles.

Almost on cue, the network of pipes between old worlds three through six collapsed, leaving a good fifty individuals squished into unrecognition. Luigi was immediately promoted to head of pipe maintenance, and had been happily performing his duties no matter how thankless they proved to be. The fact that absolutely no impact was made on life as the kingdom knew it was sign enough to Luigi that he was doing everything right.

It was a rather chilly morning when some minor calamity happened and Mario quite literally flew away towards yet another adventure. Fully awake from the fiasco, Luigi grabbed his large tool bag and left his house after nearly forgetting to put on his cap. He set a course towards the nearby Peach Castle, which had just celebrated its second year without an attack from any malicious entity, and was greeted by the toad guarding the drawbridge.

"Great morning, Luigi!" shouted the far too chipper guard. "I thought you had ran after your brother."

Luigi shook his head. "Why would I do that?"

"Isn't that what you always do? Run after Mario yelling 'HEY! WAIT FOR ME!' before falling on your face because you're a klutz?"

Luigi opened his mouth to speak, but decided against legitimizing that question with a response. He simply rolled his eyes and proceeded across the drawbridge.

"I meant that in the nicest possible way!" squeaked the toad trying to save face.

The supposed loveable klutz entered the castle and was treated to little fanfare from those in it. The castle staff who did talk to him had Mario-related questions that Luigi couldn't possibly answer. Not even the princess, who baked bland cakes for his brother on the regular, could be bothered to give the mixing bowl a glance when Luigi visited on his own. The tepid reaction to his presence continued on until Luigi reached a lone access pipe behind an unmarked door on the far east side of the castle. Before he could close the door behind him, he noticed a young toad gawking from a few steps away.

"Mister Luigi?" asked the toad, softly.

Luigi looked at the kid and smiled. "What do you need, pal?"

"I went down there a few days ago. It was SCARY."

Luigi chuckled. "How far in did you get?"

The youth lowered his head. "I…was only there for maybe a minute, but it was a TERRIFYING minute! Good luck, green bro!"

"Thanks," replied Luigi, who didn't want to admit to the kid that he couldn't remember his name.

The eastern access pipe didn't have the suction of the majority of the transports in the Mushroom Kingdom, which forced Luigi to use an enclosed ladder to descend into the vast cavern below the castle. The cavern was a bit on the dark side, but it was nothing that should have scared a child into bailing out on youthful exploration after a scant amount of time. To Luigi, the most frightening aspect of the location was the large, unwieldy scaffolding that allowed him to access the six pipes swooping down from the castle's various rooms. He hadn't seen a wreck of a structure like that since the days of his brother chasing gorillas up the side of buildings, but it was either take a risk or risk lives.

Luigi walked past the rickety construct to a moderately sized lantern that was sitting on the ground. With a match, he lit the lantern and revealed that it had been placed at the edge of a fall to certain death. As a number of pipes traversed over the obviously not-bottomless pit, the light served as an indicator of the amount of caution that needed to be exercised. Luigi then returned to the entry point of the scaffolding and offered a little prayer to whatever was up there looking down at him.

"Okay, my friend. Don't end my game prematurely," said Luigi to the structure itself just in case the prayer fell on deaf ears.

The scaffolding groaned and shuttered the second that Luigi set foot on it. He slowly navigated the barely supported boards to the pipes that were above solid ground. Luigi ran a series of diagnostics and concluded that all was fine on the safer end of the cavern. Naturally, the first thing that he saw upon first glance of the deadlier side was a crack in one of the pipes. Luigi sighed, made his way over to the stretch of scaffolding above the pit, and was surprised to feel air jetting out of the pipe.

"Princess isn't going to be too happy about this," said Luigi aloud to himself.

As Luigi followed the length of the crack, the scaffolding snapped, popped, and wheezed. His verdict, mostly made to get him out of that precarious position, was that the entire pipe needed to be replaced. Before he could carefully step towards safety Luigi felt a change in the air that had been escaping the crack. He then heard the familiar gurgling of the transport pipe being entered and carefully crouched while protecting the back of his head. Instead of an individual whizzing by on a cushion of air, there was the clanking of heavy things that were tossed into the pipe. After a few seconds, what sounded like an entire kitchen worth of appliances was sent down from above. Following a loud shriek, the pipe violently trembled and Luigi knew exactly what was happening: The transport pipe was starting to become clogged.

Luigi abandoned his protective crouch and tried desperately to leave the platform. He made three heavy steps before a portion of the wooden plank snapped under his weight and caused him to fall on his face. His tool bag, one of the last hold outs from his New York days, was the first victim of the gaping maw below. Luigi scrambled to his feet as the entire scaffolding swayed wildly. After numerous failed attempts to steady himself enough to move, he was launched off the platform by the force of rupturing metal tubing. As Luigi fell into the darkness, his only complaint was how he wasn't knocked out before it happened. All he could do at that point was close his eyes, hold his breath and accept his fate, which took the form of a surprisingly warm pool of water at the bottom of the chasm.

Luigi surfaced and tried to get his bearings. Though he was quite obviously alive, the darkness was so oppressive that he wasn't entirely sure of which way to go. Before panic set in, Luigi's eyes focused on a flickering light in the distance.

"There we are," said a relieved Luigi to no one in particular.

He swam towards the light and noticed that its source was a lantern that was sitting on the earth near the water's edge. The lantern barely illuminated a transport pipe that Luigi had no clue existed so deep under the castle. After surmising that his surroundings were part of a long defunct well, Luigi climbed into the pipe and let the air current take him to its unknown destination.

"How long was this supposed to take again?"

"A few hours. He is coming from central Mushroom Kingdom."

"You sure our man on the inside didn't up and kill him trying to spring him out of there?"

"The plan was meticulously crafted."

"Well, I'm just saying that-"

"Shh! You hear that?"

"It's the warp! Remind me of what I'm supposed to say."

"Greetings, Luigi. Welcome to the first day of your new life."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

For as long as transport pipes had been a part of Luigi's life, he never got over how dark and lengthy the trips could be. It was one thing to make a short hop from room to room, but to get to far off destinations involved nothing less than an expedition. As cramped and boring as pipes could get, Luigi preferred them over slides, which were nothing more than death traps that even his brother swore off of. A number of hours after the journey began, the light of the afternoon sun signaled that it was all coming to an end. The unplanned voyage terminated with quite the beautiful view of green, rolling hills rudely blocked by a goomba wearing a classy straw hat and a koopa sporting a ratty tie.

"Greetings, Luigi. Welcome to the first day of your new life," said the koopa in an accent that inexplicably came from the American south. "I'm Kuther."

"I am called Goomiel," said the goomba in a nasal voice. "And you, Mister Luigi, have been brought to our modest settlement at the behest of Mayor Persimmon."

Luigi hauled himself out of the pipe while racking his brain for any memories of the aforementioned leader. Nothing rang any bells.

"I don't mean to cut a hole into your sails, but I'm convinced that you have the wrong Luigi. I have no clue where I am, and I have no recollection of a Mayor Persimmon. In fact, the only thing I'm sure of is that a pipe blew up in my face and I eventually ended up here."

Goomiel shook his head in that unique, full body way that goombas performed such an action. "You are Luigi of the infamous Super Mario Brothers. You might be a man with many doppelgangers, but everyone knows the genuine article."

"Yup. You're kind of a big thing here," said Kuther. "Though you're much taller in real life."

"We are currently on the outskirts of the Muraiya Valley, which is about an hour's walk from the city of the same name," said Goomiel.

"Where are we in relation to the Mushroom Kingdom?" asked Luigi.

"Well beyond the mountain range to the southeast," replied Goomiel.

"It might have been because I was hanging off the end of my brother's flying carpet, but I don't remember this area being anything other than fiendish," said Luigi, finally connecting the dots.

"The range took out a number of us," said Goomiel without any sympathy for those who had passed.

"Us koopas dang near went back to Mushroom after three of our strongest dropped before the first checkpoint," said Kuther, strangely chipper about the whole thing.

"And here I warped in like a king," said Luigi looking back at the pipe.

"The Knowledge of that pipe was a recent development," responded Goomiel.

"Okay, so what was the point of the migration?" asked Luigi. "I can't say I'm overly happy in the Mushroom Kingdom, but I'm not risking my life to leave it for no reason."

Goomiel seemed to ponder how to respond for a moment. "I'll let Mayor Persimmon do most of the storytelling. Let's just say that life is difficult for certain individuals under the wrath of a king and the hammer of a carpenter."

Luigi understood exactly what Goomiel meant.

"Well, we have a bit of a journey ahead of us," continued Goomiel.

"Yup, and the Falling Star is at the halfway mark for your eating and entertainment needs," said Kuther, whose cheery demeanor was infectious.

The trio traveled east along a narrow dirt path until they hit a paved road. Before Luigi could walk the gravel out of his shoes, he heard what sounded like a dull explosion from the direction that they originated.

"What was that?" asked a curious Luigi.

"Thunder," said Goomiel.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky, but Luigi decided not to challenge the answer. He then followed them a distance to a small vehicle that resembled a van. Kuther climbed into the driver's seat as Goomiel sat across from Luigi in the back.

"When was the last time you drove, Luigi?" asked Kuther before starting the van.

"I'm on the go-kart track all the time," said Luigi.

"I thought the Mushroom Cup ended when your people bailed out," responded Kuther.

Luigi smiled. "It did. The Koopalings recently took the whole thing over and pretty much flattened Dinosaur Land to make courses. I should be getting an invite as soon as everything is set."

"That is the last group that I would trust with my life," said a disapproving Goomiel.

The conversation continued on until the van made a turn onto a road that was moderately populated with other vehicles. It didn't take much time before Luigi started to see signs promoting the Falling Star Fortress.

"Not too long before the fun begins!" shouted Kuther.

"Some porridge would do me quite well," said Goomiel.

The Falling Star Fortress was an enormous structure that sat at the lowest point of Muraiya Valley. It reminded Luigi of one of the castles that the Koopalings would hastily construct back when they were actively trying to take over the Mushroom Kingdom in Bowser's name. The large structure sat in the middle of a vast parking lot that was spilling over with vehicles and foot traffic. While there was a number of toads milling about, the majority of those walking towards the Falling Star were goombas, shy guys and koopas of all kinds. Upon finding a spot a small hike away from the building, they were approached by a toad driving a black golf cart with the Fallen Star logo emblazoned on it. The toad had an enormous smile on his face and looked directly at Luigi when he talked.

"If you think that I'm going to let a superstar such as yourself walk to the entrance, then you are horribly mistaken!" exclaimed the toad. "Hop in!"

Goomiel and Kuther didn't seem overly excited about the free ride. Luigi, on the other hand, was happy to hear a familiar voice.

"Irwin? Didn't you use to cut the grass outside of Peach Castle?" asked Luigi as he got comfortable in his seat.

"That indeed is me!" said the toad. How has the castle been?"

"Absolutely magical."

"Stop lying!"

"I was nearly beheaded, flung into a pit and almost drowned before taking a rather cushy ride in a pipe I somehow didn't know existed. I'd call that magical. Why are you here? I thought you were making good money?"

"The princess wanted to follow another one of her crazy whims. Mario wasn't there, so she tried to round up Toadsworth, who said he was too old for that nonsense. With no one else left to drag on a great adventure or whatever, she went to me. I told her that I had a wife and daughter to take care of and she, in turn, fired me on the spot."

Luigi didn't have the heart to tell Irwin that Peach Castle's new gardener had been doing a much better job than he ever did.

"Anyway," Irwin continued, I'm in a better place now and we are currently approaching the entrance of Fallen Star Fortress. Make sure to leave with any gear that you might have entered the cart with, as the lost and found is looking like a landfill at this point. Enjoy your time in Muraiya and remember, it's different here."

The moment that Luigi and his two handlers left the cart, the distant chatter turned into nearly every other individual trying to rub shoulders with the visitor from the abroad. After a cheek was kissed and a birdo's egg was rubbed, Kuther and Goomiel formed a perimeter around Luigi.

"Let the man breathe! Back away!" yelled Kuther, still sounding as jolly as ever.

"Just a little bit of space for the man! It has been a long journey!" shouted Goomiel.

Luigi couldn't remember the last time he was on such an elevated status back in the Mushroom Kingdom. As much as he wanted to like his newfound fame, it quickly came to light that the only individual who didn't know in advance about Luigi's arrival in Muraiya was Luigi himself.

The three entered the lobby of the Fallen Star Fortress and were treaded to such a visual feast that it was hard to focus on anything. The front desk looked like it was buckling under the weight of various decals, displays and advertisements for upcoming events. It was a similar situation for the pathways leading to the bar, restaurant, hotel, and casino. On top of the blinding eye candy, Luigi was still being approached by colorful personalities even with Kuther and Goomiel trying to shout them off.

"Guys, how long were we staying here, again?" asked Luigi.

"There is nothing particularly time sensitive about the voyage anymore," said Goomiel.

"Good," replied Luigi. "I'm going to take control of this mess before it causes gridlock."

Luigi then focused his attention on the growing crowd around him.

"Okay, people! If you are here for the meet and greet then I need you to form a line starting, um," Luigi looked around for a distant corner. "There! Because I really need to pee and would rather not do so on the ground, I will be at the front desk as soon as I find a restroom. Thank you!"

After the small challenge that was finding the restroom, Luigi raced into it, did his business and spent a little too much time looking into the mirror. The events of the last few hours left him a disheveled, grime-faced mess. As Luigi did what he could with his hand and faucet water, he noticed one of the stalls behind him start to slowly open.

"Luigi?" asked a meek voice from inside the stall.

"Hello, mysterious stranger," replied Luigi. "Are you here for the meet and greet?"

"I'm here because I had an upset stomach. I forgot all about you stopping by," said the stranger who was still behind the door.

"I'm not going to eat you, buddy. You can step out," said Luigi, tired of speaking to an inanimate object.

The door was opened fully and a casually-dressed lakitu hovered out.

"What's your name?" asked Luigi.

"I go by Lawrence," the lakitu answered back.

"Lawrence, would you mind if I picked your brain a little?"

"Just as long as it doesn't end with you bashing me over the head and stealing my cloud."

Luigi laughed. "I was in the Mushroom Kingdom not too long ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Things happened, I hopped in a pipe and I ended up here."

"That's great!"

"To make things even more weird, I had two guys waiting to greet me, and a small army of people who knew of my arrival seemingly before I woke up this morning."

"I remember people talking about it maybe a month ago."

"Seriously?" Luigi had a bad feeling about the entire situation. "Look, I was brought here by Goomiel and Kuther. What can you tell me about them?"

"They work for Mayor Persimmon."

"Can you tell me anything else?"

"Kuther isn't a hick, and Goomiel isn't that smart."

"Am I in danger?"

"No."

"That is all I need to know. Thank you," said Luigi, happy with the information that he was given.

"I have one more piece of information for you, Luigi,"

"Yes?"

"Stay far away from the fish unless you want to join me in suffering!"

And with that, Lawrence hovered back into the stall and closed the door behind him. Luigi then took a deep breath and exited the restroom to face the adoring masses that were turning the lobby into a garish fire hazard.

"Next up is a we have a shy guy! How are you?"

"More like a shy gal."

"Noted. Is everything alright on your end?"

"Maybe."

"And what can I do to turn that 'maybe' into something more concretely positive?"

"Stay."

 **Author's Note: Sorry for the wait, guys. I'll have the next chapter up in a week or two**

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	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

In the period of time following Bowser's first defeat, Luigi was placed in a guest room at the end of an incredibly long hallway in Peach Castle. With fancy art on every wall, a bathroom that belonged in an upscale spa and a bed that could fit an adult elephant, Luigi realized that he was in the warm lap of luxury, and hated every minute of it. While his brother participated in every celebratory function that the mushroom people had to offer, Luigi spent entire days holed up in his palatial abode writing notes relating to what he was going to do when he returned to the "real world." After Luigi didn't show up as one of guests of honor in the much-promoted Emancipation Festival, he was treated to a loud, familiar knocking on his door.

"Who is it?" asked Luigi, knowing exactly who it was..

"It's me, Mario," said his brother from behind the door. "Let me in."

"Hard to keep people out with no locks, replied Luigi, not even attempting to leave his chair."

A brightly-dressed Mario entered the room, leaving a trail of confetti and sparkles in his wake. It was if the festivities had literally blown up in his face.

"I was trying to be polite," said Mario, annoyed with Luigi's answer.

"Bless you, kind sir," said a mocking Luigi. Why are you here?"

"You're asking me that? Look, Luigi, there are a lot of people out there waiting for you to show your face and make their day."

"I don't feel obligated to do anything for them until they detail our route back home."

Mario released an exasperated sigh. "You are still on that nonsense?"

"It is what they promised they would do after we saved their princess. She has been saved, and now it is time for us to leave."

"You ever stop to think about what is waiting for us back home?" asked Mario, crossing his arms.

"Normal lives!"

"More like Apartments that have long been gutted and rented out to other people, and a failing business that is better off being used by squatting bums. It has been a year, Luigi. New York might as well not exist."

"Okay, so what is here for us?" asked Luigi, throwing Mario's question back at him.

"Are you kidding? We run faster, we jump higher, we throw fire, we have money, and we have women willing to do anything we want because we are heroes. Why the hell would you not want to stay here in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

After his brother returned to the festival, Luigi packed a small bag and left his room with no intentions of returning. He retraced the steps he made on that fateful day that he fell into the strange world and found himself on a lonely hill at dawn. Luigi looked up in the sky for that warp back to the real world. He found nothing.

"Kuther, does his van have a radio?" asked Luigi, trying not to fall asleep after what had turned into a lengthy evening at Fallen Star Fortress.

"That it does, good buddy!" answered the koopa, relentlessly upbeat.

"Could you turn it to whatever news station you can find?" requested Luigi, still trying to get as much information possible about his surroundings.

"Sounds like a plan," responded Kuther as he turned on the radio.

The van was treated to a male host excitingly talking about baseball. It wasn't anything close to what Luigi wanted, but he rolled with it.

"You are in for quite the good time in Muraiya, as baseball is life for a subset of individuals," said Goomiel.

Luigi hadn't played an inning of baseball since his short-lived stint with the Gentlemen many years ago. He actually wasn't a big fan of the sport, and only participated because it is what kept that peace back then. He listened to the radio with minor interest in anything until the slight, yellow discoloration of the night sky caught his attention.

"What's going on up there?" asked Luigi.

"We're entering Muraiya City limits," responded Kuther.

"You sure we aren't driving into acid rain? The sky is looking all kinds of toxic."

Both Kuther and Goomiel laughed together in a rare showing of unity.

"The skies above Muraiya indeed are poison to those who try to navigate them," said Goomiel, still smiling over Luigi's previous comment.

Luigi was still a bit confused. "I don't get it. Does their skin melt or something?"

"You could say that," replied Kuther. "Look, we don't want to ruin the surprise, so we'll just shut up about the whole thing until we get there."

As the ride continued on, the sky became so putrid looking that Luigi wondered if his lungs were being subjected to significant abuse just by being below it. At the very moment where Luigi was going to force the van to a stop and get his handlers to explain themselves, he was treated to a view of the massive walls of Muraiya City. Each panel of the wall produced an eye-searing yellow energy from its base that was released into the sky.

"If the plan is the blind would-be attackers, and visitors alike, then Muraiya has a great success on their hands with that bad boy," said Luigi, shielding his eyes.

"Without spilling the beans too much, I'll say that what you're looking at is a power source, Luigi. A big, bright battery," said Kuther, who finally reached for a pair of shades after looking like he was going to tough it out.

"I'm going to be disappointed if someone tells me that it powers a fountain or something silly like that," replied Luigi.

"I guess our secret is out, Kuther. The only choice is to turn the van around and send Luigi back home. I will not have the sanctity of our precious fountain besmirched," said Goomiel, trying to hold a straight face.

"You know things are on the up and up when you have Goomiel telling jokes," said Kuther with no lack of excitement.

Luigi smiled, but couldn't shake the feeling that there was something very bad was going to happen to him. Before he could formulate any frightening scenarios, the vehicle stopped at a checkpoint just beyond the wall. On an elevated platform was a shy guy, who excitedly looked down into the van.

"Kuther, how am I supposed to do my job with those obnoxiously tinted windows?" asked the shy guy, whose voice Luigi immediately recognized.

"You never had a problem with them before," responded Kuther.

"You never had anything interesting to show me in the past," said the shy guy. "Where is he?"

Kuther pointed towards Luigi. "In the back with Goomiel."

"I don't believe a word of that. Open the door and let me see him with my own eyes," stated the impatient guard.

Kuther hit a switch on the driver side control panel that opened the sliding door. When Luigi was revealed, the shy guy squealed loudly, nearly losing his mask in the process.

"The Green Monster!" exclaimed the guard with glee.

"The self-appointed King of Prisma," stated a smiling Luigi. "Gaspar, what are you doing here?"

"It's boring being king where there isn't anyone to contend for my throne," said Gaspar. "Please tell me you brought your deck with you."

"I didn't bring myself here," responded Luigi, shooting a look at his handlers. "Much less my deck."

Luigi sensed disappointment from Gaspar. "You're going to have a starter deck slid under your door sometime in the near future."

Luigi's eyes widened. "Didn't know I had an address around these parts."

"We're getting a little ahead of the game here," interrupted Kuther.

Gaspar sighed. "You didn't tell him anything? Do you realize just how lucky you are that he didn't think he was being kidnapped and stomp you guys out?"

"He'll get all the info he can stomach once you stop flapping your gums and let us get to the mayor's office," said Kuther, breaking his happy veneer for the first time since the trip started.

Gaspar muttered unintelligibly before returning to his kiosk and raising the gate that was lowered in front of Kuther's van. The sliding door was closed, and the trio was back on the road.

"I thought Muraiya was made up of former inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom," said a curious Luigi. "Gaspar comes from Prism Island."

"Muraiya enjoys a pleasant relationship with a number of independent communities," replied Goomiel.

"Even Rogueport?" asked Luigi.

Goomiel sighed. "Unfortunately."

Luigi's attention was taken to a large, illuminated sign that read "Muraiya City." It was placed at the entrance of a tunnel that snaked into a rather intimidating looking mountain. After a quick drive through said tunnel, Luigi's senses were battered by the all-out assault that was Muraiya City to the uninitiated. The streets, flanked on both sides by a large variety of bright, multi-story buildings, were spilling over with both vehicular and pedestrian traffic. Kuther attempted to merge the van into a particular lane and got hit with blaring horns and all kinds of foul language from the other drivers. Combine that with individuals jaywalking as if they owned the road and Luigi felt, for the briefest of moments, that he was back in New York.

"I haven't seen anything like this in quite a while," said Luigi with astonishment.

"It's a little worse than usual," said an annoyed Kuther.

"I'm assuming everyone knows I'm in town and are trying to get to some elaborate parade that I'm going to be the grand marshal of," said Luigi, coldly.

Kuther laughed. "Why do you think we would do you like that?"

After what seemed like an eternity, the van cleared the traffic and drove through Muraiya City's commercial district. While Luigi wasn't surprised to see the bright colors left behind at the Fallen Star Fortress make a comeback, he was shocked to see his massive, smiling face posted up on a number of storefronts.

"I look like I'm going to eat someone's first born in those displays," said Luigi with disgust. "They couldn't get a better picture of me to use as a reference?"

"I'm sure they'd change the pictures at the drop of a hat if you walked into their stores hollering about them," said Kuther.

Goomiel cleared his throat. "We have wasted more than enough time. Onwards to Mayor Persimmon."

The bright lights and terrifying displays of the shopping centers gave way to the barely-lit web of interconnected high-rise apartment buildings known as Muraiya Heights.

"Why are the streets so empty out here?" asked Luigi as he grew somewhat unsettled by what was his current environment.

"In regards to travel within the residential district, the vast majority of the population use the catwalks, which are accessed via the fifth floor of each building," replied Goomiel.

"Nothing but businesses up on the fifth, so it gets lively up there," said Kuther.

"I assume there is some kind of parking structure that explains the lack of cars parked on the street," said Luigi.

"Correct," responded Kuther. "But you'll see all of that soon enough. I got to get you down to Final Clearance on the east end of the district. The mayor's office will be right after."

"What's going to happen at Final Clearance?" asked Luigi.

"They're going to make sure you are you," answered Kuther with a bit of a chuckle.

Luigi shook his head. "Security is out of control in this place."

The monotony of empty streets was shattered by the long line of vehicles waiting to access the intimidating checkpoint that was Final Clearance. A group of hostile looking hammer brothers grilled every driver as poochies sniffed around for any hint of contraband. One of the guards spotted Kuther, smiled, and joyously walked towards the van.

"I swear I will wreck your ride if you don't have the goods with you," said the guard, brandishing his hammer.

Kuther laughed. "Wouldn't be doing me any harm. This thing is on its last legs."

The guard frowned. "The legend's first impression of Muraiya was a jalopy? We have limos for this kind of thing!"

"Trying to stay under the radar and all that," said Kuther.

The guard wasn't listening. "Anyway, we have everything already set up for the big man. Just stop by the kiosk and we'll give him his packet."

"You could just hand it to me," said Kuther, trying to speed things along.

"That's not happening at all. See you at the kiosk."

After a few cars worth of accusations and interrogations, Kuther's van reached the kiosk that preceded the access road to Muraiya Heights' interior. Every hammer brother at the checkpoint left their posts to gather around the vehicle. The guard that was talking to Kuther walked up to the sliding door with a large envelope in his hand.

"You know what we're all here for, Kuther," said the guard. "Showtime!"

Kuther opened the sliding door and the guards all nearly had a conniption when they discovered that Luigi, the legend, was stuffed into the back seat next to Goomiel, of all goombas. After many threats ranging from jail time for vague charges to spiteful murder via hammer, the guards calmed down, but only after Luigi starting talking to them. Luigi wasn't familiar with any of the guards, but they all seemed to have a story about him dating back to their times in Bowser's army. Luigi received his packet after almost 45 minutes of holding up the line, and the trio was sent on their way.

Fifteen minutes of navigating the vast parking area ended with the trio standing at a special access elevator that sat behind yet another checkpoint.

"The mayor's office is at the top floor," said Goomiel. "Do be respectful."

"This is the end of the line for us," said Kuther. "I'm not saying that you won't see us around, though. When you do, don't be afraid to say hello."

Luigi, holding his packet, had a multitude of questions to ask, and was happy to be on his way to getting them answered.

"I don't understand this, guys. I really don't," said Luigi, skeptically." Maybe when I do, I'll share the excitement that everyone seems to have about me being here."

The elevator door opened, and Luigi stepped inside.

"Goodbye."

Luigi barely had time to admire the light brown décor of the elevator car before it finished ascending and he found himself inside of a narrow hallway. Luigi walked towards the open door at the end of the hall. Beside the door there was a nameplate that read MAYOR H. PERSIMMON.

Luigi entered the surprisingly small office and came face to face with a professionally dressed woman who was sitting at a large desk.

"And here comes the result of one of the worst ideas that I have ever followed through with in my life," said the woman. "My name is Henrietta Persimmon. I am the mayor of Muraiya and the brainchild of your extensive journey."

"I'd introduce myself, but there doesn't seem to be a single individual around here who doesn't know who I am, said Luigi"

"Sit down," said Mayor Persimmon, motioning to the chair on the other side of her desk.

Luigi did what he was told, placing his envelope in front of him.

"Luigi, I know that you have a lot of questions for me. Instead of sitting here fielding them for the next hour, I have prepared quite the spiel for you. After it is over, I am convinced that the vast majority of your questions will be answered, and that we will quickly move on to better things."

"Go ahead."

"You have assisted in the rescue of certain incompetent members of Mushroom Kingdom royalty since the day you set foot on the soil. During the frequent battles against Bowser's army, you, Luigi, were the one to see them all as living beings. While your brother turned brains into paste with his hammer and incinerated any witnesses, you were the gentle soul who gave them a few licks and sent them home. You then dedicated yourself to a life of civil service in which you silently saved countless lives through the maintaining of warp pipes. What does everything have in common? A contemptable lack of respect. The upper echelon of the Mushroom Kingdom simply doesn't understand the brutality of a planned assault by those forced to serve Bowser and how it was left unexecuted only because of your mercy, Luigi. They thought of you and respected you while those you served saw you as a nuisance at best and worthless coward at worst. Luigi, you were stranded in a kingdom that had no desire to see you grow. In order to facilitate the growth that you are entitled to, you had to be jettisoned from that environment entirely. Everything that happened to you today had been in the works for a very long time. There were almost daily reworkings of the plan in order to get you here with as little risk to all of those involved as possible."

"Why didn't one of your people in Peach Castle just find me and ask?"

"Luigi, Muraiya is a land of refugees. What you see as paranoia is protection against the whims of Princess Peach, the brutality of your brother, and the tyranny of King Bowser Koopa. We could not afford to have them be directed here by a pair of wandering ears before you were properly introduced to the community. With that said, allow me to answer the question that you have been asking since you exited the pipe on the fringes of the Muraiya Valley. 'Why are you here?' Luigi, I wield a lot of power, but I am no phenomenon. I am not the revolutionary force that will lead the once oppressed to where they deserve to be on the global stage."

Luigi let all of that sink in for almost a full minute.

"Mayor Persimmon, your plan is based upon an absolutely ludicrous amount of assumptions."

Mayor Persimmon nodded. "It would be a lie to say that wasn't the case."

"Besides adoration, respect and some nebulous political power I didn't know I had, what does Muraiya have to offer me that I didn't already have in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"Are you talking about money and accommodations?" asked Mayor Persimmon, seemingly likin where the conversation was heading.

"Possibly."

"You will be granted one of the largest apartments in Muraiya, and a weekly stipend of ten thousand coins."

"That sounds nice," responded Luigi. "You know what isn't particularly nice? Kidnapping, even if it is done with the best of intentions. You talk of running from Bowser, a so-called tyrant who hasn't been tyrannical in years, yet you use his old methods when you want yourself a prince."

"I will not apologize. I did what had to be done to guarantee a successful outcome."

"Almost," Luigi scoffed. Mayor Persimmon, with all that has been placed on the table, what would happen if I rejected it outright?"

"That would tear the hearts out of hundreds of thousands. I am not sure why you are even entertaining that notion, as we both know that you would find such an action appalling."

Luigi thought back to the downright nonsensical animosity that he had held for his second home ever since it was made evident that leaving would never be an option.

"You know me to an astonishing degree, Mayor," lied Luigi.

 **Author's Note: Thanks for your patience, guys. In the battle between being timely and nitpicking my work to death, nitpicking seems to always win. Onwards to chapter 4!**

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	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

Phillip Lamar Davis spent the first half of his fifty something years shuttling around America's southern states before making the vast leap in distance and culture to New York City. After a brief, tumultuous period of homelessness compounded by a nasty drug habit, Phillip used his experience as a businessman and a tailor to open and maintain a shop in what had to be the dankest corner of Brooklyn. Phil's Big and Tall was immediately considered a brilliant diamond in the rough that saw a large number of individuals hopping boroughs to get their fashion needs tended to. The shop even had a few famous clients, which led to periodic closures when they were in town.

Among the regulars chatting it up with Phillip about the state of modern men's clothing was Luigi, who was a little less fashionable than the plunger that he used on a daily basis. As Luigi wasn't sitting on the mounds of cash that the others flaunted regularly, he would make his contribution to the shop through the purchase of far too many ties and the occasional green shirt. The ties went straight into a drawer, as Luigi had nothing to wear said items with. The shirts went on under his overalls, which became his trusty "green and blues." Phillips noticed it all and called Luigi out over what he was doing with all the product that he was buying. Luigi told the truth about his situation and was met with a hearty laugh from the tailor. Upon revealing that the small fleet of ties was worth two suits, Phillip expressed his desire to make something for Luigi on the cheap. Elated, Luigi went back home and cleared out his closet to make room for his upcoming "baby." Unfortunately, the dark green suit that was going to be his little one never got to take shape due to Phillip being thrown in prison for tax evasion and a multitude of other charges.

After the first victory over the once fearsome king of Koopas, Luigi's clothing was plastered to his body via a thick layer of blood, sweat and grime. He begged the castle tailors for a nice outfit, but they were wholly incapable of making anything other than toad-sized vests. Peach's seamstress had better luck making clothing suitable for human beings, but her output looked far too much like an evening gown for Luigi's liking. He eventually abandoned the search and visited the rogue magikoopa that had been making copies of his brother's clothing for a fee. Luigi ponied up the cash and the mage conjured up an entire wardrobe worth of green and blues that were only worn after a massive sigh of boredom from his inner fashionista. The apathy continued until Luigi opened the closet of his new dwelling in Muraiya City and discovered a dark green suit and dress pants seemingly plucked out of the hands of the incarcerated Phillip.

"Is there something wrong, Luigi. You seemed to have gone pale," said Mayor Persimmon, who had been uncomfortably close to the man since he agreed to be her associate.

"This suit, Mayor Persimmon. How did you know?" asked Luigi after a bit of a stammer.

"It is my job to do so," responded the mayor.

"I might have told a few people the story. But even then, I didn't describe the suit."

"Because there was no suit to describe. I know.".

"Those I told the story to worked at Peach castle as of last week. No way they are here."

"You are correct. That said, you are very much wrong in thinking that your time with a tailor turned inmate wasn't going to make the rounds. People like to talk. People love to talk about you, Luigi."

Luigi closed the closet, making a silent vow to admire the outfit when he had some time alone.

"On the subject of talking, when are you going to allow me to mingle with the masses?" asked Luigi, trying to repress years of shying away from the general public.

Mayor Persimmon smiled. "Tomorrow evening there will be a ceremony officially welcoming you to Muraiya. At that ceremony, you will be tasked with delivering a short introductory speech to the people. After said speech, you will be free to wander."

"Anything in particular you want in this speech besides verifying that I am who I am?" asked an unenthusiastic Luigi.

"Just be positive. Bonus points if you make me look good."

After Mayor Persimmon took her leave, Luigi made a bee-line for the television that sat in the corner of the living room. Desperate to find some unfiltered information about his place of residence, he flipped through a nice variety of channels and found nothing remotely interesting. It was only on Luigi's second rotation of the channels did he find a variety show hosted by a smiling sumo brother in a suit that, quite miraculously, fit him very well. As the show came back from break, the crowd cheered loudly.

"Welcome back to Gala Grande with yours truly, Don Papisumo!"

The crowd fell silent, as if on cue.

"Seems like we have a special guest in the studio today. Don't we, Mamisuma?

The camera cut to a microphone-holding sumo sister in a long, flowing dress.

"Hailing from a filthy puddle somewhere in the slums of Diamond City is the Mayor of Muraiya herself: Persimmon!"

A female goomba waddled out wearing an oversized crown with a patch on it. Luigi was surprised at the jeering of the crowd.

"The first thing I want you uneducated masses to do is shut your mouths!" shouted the false Persimmon in the snootiest of accents. "The second thing that I must say before we carry on with whatever you have me here to do is to refer to me as your queen, as that is what I am."

The crowd gave her another loud round of boos. One brave individual even threw a paper cup in her direction.

"If you are to deliver a beverage to the queen, then please have it be the finest wine poured into imported glass and served with the most exquisite cheeses," said the queen.

"Miss Mayor-Princess-Queen Persimmon! What can you tell us about the Luigi sighting? Is he truly among us as we speak?" asked Don Papisumo.

"He may or may not be in Muraiya, though his possible appearance in this glorious kingdom that I constructed with my bare hands is more than likely able to be validated through future discernment," babbled the queen, trying her best not to break character.

Don Papisumo overplayed looking thoroughly confused. 'So, is that a yes?" he asked.

"The likeliness of a coherent response depends solely on the results of the coming referendum, which will no doubt swing in my favor as I am queen and you, my peons, realize that."

While the program wasn't the serious news broadcast that Luigi was looking for, he felt that he got a good grasp of how at least a percentage of the locals viewed Mayor Persimmon. They saw her as full of herself on top of being unnecessarily wordy. As the show continued to lampoon the very soul out Mayor Persimmon, the only thing that stayed consistent with what Luigi had been experiencing since he touched down in Muraiya was that the people loved him. With that in mind, Luigi pulled out a notepad that was part of his welcome package and started working on his speech. The results were a bit generic, but there was only so much that he was willing to do for the woman who took him out of his admittedly boring situation by force.

The next morning, Luigi was wide awake and admiring the perfect fit of his suit when his door was assaulted by a heavy handed individual. Luigi exited the bedroom and approached the source of the noise.

"Who is it?" asked Luigi.

"Persimmon," replied a familiar voice.

Luigi opened the door and Mayor Persimmon indeed was standing in the hallway.

"You look absolutely stunning in that suit," said the mayor with widening eyes.

"I would be lying if I didn't say that I felt like a new man."

"Because you are, Luigi. A new man with a new role in his new home. Did you finish your speech?"

"I did."

"Then I'll just hold on to the backup speech that I prepared just in case."

"You didn't trust me?"

"Luigi, I'm used to dealing with snakes at the worst and idiots at the very best."

"I see."

"Moving on, your day is going to start out in an hour with breakfast at the Concourse, a restaurant near the venue in which the festivities of the day will happen. Afterwards, you will be taken to Koby Stadium, the aforementioned venue, for a walkthrough of the ceremony. You will be then taken to a room where you will stay until the event happens at six o'clock."

"You really don't want me to stretch my legs," said Luigi with a slight chuckle.

"This event is very important to me," said a serious Mayor Persimmon.

"I assume this is due to the referendum."

Mayor Persimmon scoffed. "Luigi, I'm going to have a newspaper delivered to your door every morning. I refuse to allow old episodes of Gala Grande to be your only source of information about Muraiyan politics."

Breakfast at the Concourse restaurant was more awkward than it had any business being due to Persimmon barking orders at the already nervous staffers. Arms were trembling and knees were going weak, which resulted in a lovely heap of French toast and a carafe of orange juice falling into Luigi's lap. Persimmon exploded and, just before heads were to roll, the plumber stepped in and calmed the mayor down for the good of everyone involved. After the near breakdown at restaurant, its manager approached Luigi to welcome him to Muraiya and asked if he ever considered a career in politics. The only politician in the building answered for Luigi and whisked him back to their waiting limousine.

"Luigi, I don't mean to step on your toes, but you are to leave all talk of politics to me," said an obviously irritated Mayor Persimmon.

"I'd understand that more if I actually said something political," responded Luigi.

The mayor took a deep breath and nodded.

"Koby Stadium is just a five-minute drive from our current location. In fact, if you look in that direction, you will see it come into view," said Mayor Persimmon, dropping her previous statement completely.

Luigi looked out the window and saw the large stadium a short distance away. He wasn't overly impressed by what he initially saw, but concluded that the inactive lights and screens that were all over the stadium would make for an impressive sight at night.

"It's a baseball stadium, right?"

"Primarily, but it has holds everything from racing to professional wrestling."

"Wrestling?"

"There is a sizable percentage of the population that can't get enough of it."

As the limousine pulled into the stadium's lot, Luigi noticed a line of individuals wrapping around the front gate.

"Is there a post-holiday sale that I am missing out on?" asked Luigi, jokingly.

"They are here for you," responded Mayor Persimmon, dryly.

'Any way we can pull up beside them?"

"Why?"

"I want to greet them."

"That is what the speech is for."

"If I recognize at least some of the citizens personally, then I am less of a figurehead and more of a normal person."

"No," responded Mayor Persimmon without the briefest pause to consider Luigi's words.

The rehearsal of the ceremony was a complete and utter mess from the moment that the mayor and Luigi were dropped off at the stadium's back entrance. Contrary to what was believed about just how ready the venue was for the event, everything was at a state of atrophy. The lighting rig was rusted and the sound system was producing an oppressive amount of static. Add in an incredibly stubborn group of hardly-working workers and Mayor Persimmon was driven to her wits end. She unleashed an absolutely legendary stream of profanities, insults, and threats that got everyone and everything ready for show time a few minutes before it was supposed to happen. Energetic jazz music filled the air as the all-encompassing mass of goombas, koopas, toads, and a handful of humans entered the stadium.

From the entrance of a hall that led directly to the field, Mayor Persimmon and Luigi looked at the miraculously reconstructed stage. On it was a microphone-equipped podium that was flanked on both sides by enormous monitors providing everyone in the stadium with a good view of the action.

"Luigi, we didn't get the slightest bit of rehearsal time, but I am sure that one of your stature doesn't particularly need practice in the first place when the deed to be done is nothing more than a speech," said Mayor Persimmon with the smallest hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Are we both heading out at the same time?" asked Luigi.

"No. I will address the audience first and give you a cue. The rest I will leave in your very capable hands. Get it?"

"I got it."

"Good. Now if you'd excuse me, I have an impatient crowd to deal with," said the mayor as she walked out of the hall.

The capacity crowd murmured apathetically when Mayor Persimmon took the stage Entirely unfazed by the tepid reaction from her constituents, she started to speak.

"Citizens of Muraiya, you have been gathered here today to witness what was thought to be an impossible union between our community of refugees and an incredible human being. A compassionate man who has been at the forefront of multiple extractions of ungrateful royalty from a savage king and asking absolutely nothing in exchange but respect. After many depressing years quite literally underground, this fine individual was brought to our home, and it is up to us to open the door for him. Please welcome to Muraiya the true hero of the Mushroom Kingdom: Luigi Segale!"

The crowd erupted and Luigi made his way to the stage not thinking about his speech, but how Mayor Persimmon got a hold of his last name.

"Good luck out there," said the mayor on her way back to the hall.

Luigi nodded, not hearing much of anything that came out of her mouth due to the volume of the crowd. The roar from the audience rose to ear-splitting levels as the man of the hour reached the podium.

 **. . .**

"I was told that you wanted to speak to me in private."

"Correct."

"Here I am. Out with it."

"Princess, I haven't seen my brother in two days."

"And I haven't seen him in around two months. So, what?"

"Well, I was wondering if you sent him out on a mission, but I guess I was just given the answer."

"Why would I have him do anything for me?"

"How many times has he helped me fight for your kingdom?"

"Lately?"

"I know where you are going and I'm stopping you there."

"Luigi is a grown man, Mario. If he wants to up and leave for two days, two years, or for the rest of his life, then it is entirely his prerogative to do so."

 **Author's Note: I don't even have any excuses for how long this chapter took me to write…**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

It was three in the morning when Luigi rolled out of bed and took the elevator down a few floors down to the catwalk. As he lived quite a distance from the general public, he traversed what seemed like miles of lonely corridors before reaching the main drag. Mayor Persimmon pleaded with Luigi to call for an aide every time he was going to leave his room, but he decided against it in the name of independence and not wanting to bother anyone at what was a painfully early hour. After some light mingling with the decreasingly star struck folk that frequented the west end of Muraiya Heights at pre-dawn, Luigi approached what was quickly becoming his favorite twenty-four-hour coffee stand. Surrounded by pots, burners, beans and all other elements of coffee making was a stocky human female that Luigi knew as Tasha. Upon seeing Luigi, she gave him a small wave.

" And so starts day four," said Tasha. How are you this morning?

"I'd be better if I didn't start day four at three," responded Luigi with a tired sigh.

"That's why I'm here, mister hero. The usual?"

Luigi laughed. "I haven't come here enough to have a usual."

Tasha shook her head. "Lies. Caramel macchiato with extra caramel."

"Someone has been paying attention," said Luigi with a smile.

"Someone will get fired if they don't," said Tasha, starting the coffee making process.

"That's not nice," said Luigi with some concern.

Tasha simply shrugged. "It's a cruel world. You know that."

"You know what I still don't know much about?" asked Luigi. "Your story."

Tasha rolled her eyes. "This again?"

Luigi pressed on. "Even if you include the wild card that is Wario, Diamond City isn't exactly hell on Earth. There has to be a reason why you left it in favor of being a lowly barista."

"Have you been to Diamond City lately?"

"No, but I- "

"Exactly," interrupted Tasha. "Things have changed and I really don't want to get into the specifics."

"I understand," said Luigi, giving up for the moment. "It seems like I'm going to be working out of an office starting today."

"They went through all the trouble of getting you here to have you sit in an office?" asked Tasha, placing the finished coffee on the counter.

"I'm going to be an ombudsman of sorts," said Luigi, not exactly believing what was coming out of his own mouth.

"So, the people are going to complain, you are going to listen, and everyone will pretend that something will come out the meeting."

"The plan is for me to help, if possible."

Tasha laughed. "Hey, if you can butt slam my wages and make them higher it would be greatly appreciated."

Luigi finished up his conversation and took his coffee to a small table that was a short distance from Tasha's stand. He would have had something to read if the mayor actually followed through with delivering a newspaper to his door. Luigi was a few brief moments away from zoning out entirely before he noticed a shy guy, robe nearly falling off, sprinting past him, coming to an abrupt halt, and doubling back towards the table. Luigi knew exactly who it was when he noticed what looked like a deck of cards in the shy guy's hands.

Luigi got up to formerly greet Gaspar, last seen at the city walls, but his former competitor had no time for any of that.

"I've been trying to get this to you for a few days now, but the top brass went into slave driving mode right after you got in!" quickly said Gaspar before offloading the large deck of cards on the table. Thankfully, they were wrapped in plastic, or they would have been all over the floor.

"Thanks, pal," responded Luigi.

"Got some great stuff in there, but I can't actually go through any of it with you. Catch you, um, I don't know when because everything has been crazy. Bye!"

And with that, Gaspar scampered off, robe still coming dangerously close to tripping him over.

At around five o'clock, Luigi, back in his room, was peeled from his television by a knock at the door. It was mayor Persimmon, who looked as if she hadn't slept the previous night.

"As much as it pains me to say this, mayor, you look as sick as a dying animal."

Persimmon, oddly enough, smiled. "You're not telling me anything that I don't already know."

"Okay, then. What's on the itinerary for today?" asked Luigi, changing topics.

"We are heading to the municipal complex. There you will be given a tour that ends at the office of the ombudsman on the fifth floor."

"How many people are waiting in line to see me?"

"Today, your first day, will be dedicated to introducing you to the beast that is Muraiyan politics, so there aren't going to be any citizens at the door."

"So, I'm dealing with bitter men in suits for the time being?"

"Yes."

The Muraiya Municipal Complex was a large building located in the middle of the city. Luigi found the place quite intimidating until he was taken inside and shown that it was incredibly ordinary. The lobby was home to a directory, an elevator and a few potted plants. Luigi didn't see a single employee of the city until he was taken to the fifth floor and noticed that they were all lined up outside what was going to be his office. While the mix of species that lived in Muraiya was most definitely represented in the line, Luigi noticed a disproportionate number of humans that shook his hand as if he was just accepted into an exclusive fraternity. Throughout the warm greetings from those of his own kind, Luigi felt the icy stare of an unnaturally tall goomba in a police officer's hat.

The office of the ombudsman consisted of a large desk and a dusty bookshelf that hadn't even been thought about for years. After Luigi got his bearings, Mayor Persimmon left, and a short, balding, human male entered the room. That individual was Councilman Reece, a man who was very happy to be the presence of "one worth a damn that wasn't half mushroom." Nearly lost in the midst of bitter ranting was the fact that Councilman Reece was formerly of North Carolina and found himself in the Mushroom Kingdom after a tornado tore through his home. It took a full year of counseling from the locals for Reece to be convinced that he wasn't dead and in the afterlife. While the councilman had heard quite a lot about Mario and Luigi, he didn't actually see another human being until his travels took him to Diamond City. There he met a variety of former inhabitants of Earth, as well as an incredibly smart woman that became leader of the once struggling community on the other side of the world known as Muraiya.

"Who was the mayor before Persimmon?" asked Luigi towards the end of the conversation.

"A trio of elders whose conflict nearly doomed Muraiya before the wall was fully built," responded Reece.

"And that conflict was exploited by Persimmon to seize control of the city?"

"Bingo."

"How did she know about Muraiya being so far away from it?"

"You know better than anyone that she has her ways."

Luigi bid farewell to Councilman Reece and exchanged pleasantries with the rest of the governing body of Muraiya. Luigi's barren office quickly became inundated with gifts as the friendly conversations went on into the evening. The joyous positivity of the day was sucked right out of the room upon the arrival of the tall goomba that Luigi had spotted earlier.

"If I am not mistaken, you are Chief Goomkino of the Muraiya Police Department," said Luigi with a smile.

"Correct," said the stern chief. "It seems like you had a hell of a time in here.".

"It was a little too upbeat. To tell the honest truth, I smelt ulterior motives in the lot of them."

The goomba nodded. "You are right to distrust them."

"On top of that, I feel that none of them are giving me the whole story as to why I'm here. They all rose to power without me. Why do they need me to the point that they would orchestrate what they did to get me out here?"

"They need you to maintain their power," answered the chief.

"The referendum?"

"Yes."

Luigi sighed. "Everyone is dancing around that subject."

"Because punishment will be swift if they don't," said Goomkino.

"Even for you?" asked Luigi. "I mean, you're the chief of police."

"Let us move on."

"No problem. I'll change the subject. Chief Goomkino, you walked in ready to give me the business. I saw it in your eyes."

The chief slightly smiled. "What I was going to say seems to not be valid in the slightest. That said, were you told anything about Southernmost Muraiya?"

"This is the first time I have ever heard of it," replied Luigi.

"It is the part of the city built by the original settlers of Muraiya."

"Sounds innocent enough. Why was it never mentioned to me?"

"Because it doesn't fit the mayor's narrative," said the chief.

"I'm assuming they don't like me there," said Luigi.

"That is not entirely true. Their issues are with Persimmon."

"Which explains the reaction at the stadium."

"Exactly."

"Chief, I have been cooped up in this office for far too long. Is there any way that I could be taken through Southernmost Muraiya? I'm just tired of being purposely left out of the loop."

The chief was very happy with Luigi's request. "That can and will be arranged."

About an hour after returning home, Luigi was caught off guard by an individual actively trying to open the front door. When the barrier that was the deadbolt proved to be too much of a deterrent, the mystery person knocked the door. Luigi remained silent and on guard.

"I know you're in there, Luigi. Open the door," said an unfamiliar voice.

Luigi approached the door. "Who is it?"

"Your ride."

Luigi opened the door and came face to face with a uniformed koopa troopa.

"You aren't the chief," said Luigi.

"I'm not," bluntly responded the koopa.

"I was under the assumption that the chief was to conduct my trip."

"You assumed wrong."

"Can I at least get your name?" asked Luigi.

"No," said the koopa.

Luigi wasn't overly intimidated by the koopa, but he felt that nothing positive was going to come from any further conversation.

"I'm sorry, but I can't leave this room for the time being," said Luigi.

"What?" asked the Koopa.

"I can't go with you."

"This is what you wanted," said the officer after an irritated grunt.

"Yes, and I don't want it anymore," responded Luigi.

"The chief pulled all kinds of strings for you."

"I'll apologize to him in person."

"You don't understand that we-"

"Officer Kustafa! What are the protocols of speaking to Luigi, especially in the dead of night?" asked the booming voice of Mayor Persimmon, who seemingly materialized a few paces down the hall.

Both individuals suddenly turned to the mayor. Officer Kustafa's tone changed from irritation to placation.

"I understand that we are supposed to get permission before we approach Luigi's home, but, I wouldn't be here if the big man didn't set a few things in motion that led to my arrival at his door."

"Like what?" asked the mayor.

"He wanted to see the old city."

"to tell the truth," cut in Luigi, I expressed interest in Southernmost Muraiya after the chief told me a little about it during our meeting. That interest did not extend into a desire to visit that part of the city in the immediate future."

Kustafa's eyes widened in response to Luigi's boldface lying.

"Luigi, there are good people in the old city," stated the mayor. "That being said, there is no reason to visit them after the sun has fallen. Ruffians roam the streets in packs and are quite the challenge even for the authorities, as Kustafa here obviously knows."

Kustafa appeared incredibly uncomfortable. "We are making strides to- "

"I do not want to hear it," interrupted Mayor Persimmon. "Kustafa, you, me and the chief are going to have a long discussion about procedure and punishment."

Kustafa gasped. "Punishment?"

"My words are not to be taken as recommendations to be ignored on a whim!" yelled Mayor Persimmon. She then looked at Luigi. "I know that there is a lot of information that I have been keeping from you. Just trust me when I say that all will be revealed in due time. Until then, relax and let the tide take you where it wants you to be."

The next day, Luigi sat in his office with a sense of unease that refused to leave the pit of his stomach. He was afraid not of the carefully vetted citizens waiting downstairs in the lobby, but the repercussions of his actions against Officer Kustafa and Chief Goomkino. After resigning himself to the fact that conflict was inevitable Luigi was joined in the room by the mayor and a tall, human female in an officer's uniform.

"Before you get started with official business, I would like to introduce you to Helena Martinez, the newly appointed chief of police."

Helena smiled and outstretched her right arm. "Good morning, Luigi."

Luigi, trying to make sense of the situation, shook her hand. Greetings." He then turned to the mayor. "What happened to Chief Goomkino?"

Persimmon was ready for that question. "Upon further examination of what happened and what was going to happen last night, I made the decision that neither Goomkino, nor a number of officers under him were fit serve or be sheltered by Muraiya."

"They were deported?" asked Luigi, not believing what he was hearing.

"They will never be seen again. I will say nothing more on that topic," said the mayor. She then turned to the new chief. "Is there anything that you want to add, Chief Martinez?"

"No," said the new Chief. "I'll let the actions of the newly restructured police department speak for themselves."

"That is fine with me. Finally, Luigi, don't let what happened last night deter you from having guests. Just inform us in advance. Have a nice day."

As the two women left the office, Luigi could do nothing but dwell on the devastating power of his words.

 **Authors note:** **I'm currently kicking around ideas for a Wario-centered story. Though I feel the ideas are great, I'm not going to put them into story form until I'm close to finishing my current story. I want to wrap everything up in 12 chapters, so the midpoint is near! Until next time.**

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	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter Six**_

 **I.**

During Luigi's time spent in the paint-splattered Prisma Island, he was introduced to a collectable card game that took over the region so completely that it all but wiped the former pastime of Roshambo from the collective memory. The game was known as Final Smash, which had two to four players positioning their respective figurines atop a grid on mats known as stages. The most basic stage had a simple illustration of a moderately-sized platform, which was the only valid place that a figurine could be placed on. The more intricate stages featured multiple platforms spreads throughout indoor and outdoor settings that were laden with hazards. Luigi's personal favorite stage featured a passenger train and had players racking up damage inside of the train before going for the deathblow on top of it. A hated element of that stage was the tunnel, which came into play every five turns and often ended the game for those who recklessly attacked on the train's roof.

Battle was done via cards that featured a picture of an item, weapon, or support character. Underneath the picture was a set of statistics that governed the offensive or defensive use of the card. Luigi loved support cards, which introduced tokens on the stage that further complicated battle for everyone involved. His non-stop barrage of obnoxious support caused many a new rule to be introduced into competitive play, but it didn't stop Luigi from climbing to the top of the scene with new combinations of cards.

Luigi, known as the Green Monster, had his reign of terror come to an end on the final day of what was the biggest tournament in the game's history. He was put up against Gaspar, a shy guy who was incredibly effective with item cards. Luigi thought he had the game won when his favorite stage was chosen as the setting. Unfortunately, Luigi was so busy juggling his small fleet of support cards while keeping an eye on his battle damage that he failed to remember just how many turns had gone by on one of his many excursions to the roof of the train. Luigi was promptly smashed by the tunnel and Gaspar was hailed as the winner.

The much-anticipated rematch between the Green Monster and Gaspar happened not on a massive stage in front of thousands of fans, but on Luigi's kitchen table in Muraiya.

"Everything was relaxed to the point of boredom until nightfall. That hit and everyone was on edge like we were seconds away from being attacked!" said Gaspar, smoothing out the wrinkles in the mat. "They tried to keep us border guards out of the loop, but it's hard as hell to do that when the prison bus has the chief of police and four others in it."

Luigi kept quiet.

"Goomkino was a massive prick, but he always kept his nose clean. How he went from extreme caution to riding the baddie bus is beyond me."

"I'm sure you know of the conversation that I had with Goomkino the other day," stated Luigi after much consideration.

Gaspar nodded. "That's pretty much the only thing that I do know."

"It was about the referendum, and Southernmost Muraiya," said Luigi, telling the truth.

Gaspar recoiled. "I'm not going anywhere close to those two subjects, big man. Here I thought he ran his mouth and you stomped him out. Come to find out, he said the wrong thing in a place that was bugged to hell and back."

"I don't think she's listening in on us," said Luigi, looking up at the corners of his room.

"I'm not going to test out that assumption. What I'm going to do is mercilessly beat you on your home court yet again," said Gaspar, setting up his cards.

Luigi laughed and started arranging his deck. "So, I'm not going to get any information out of you?"

Gaspar placed a figurine inside of the train that was featured prominently on the mat. "Not if I'm going to jail for it."

Luigi sat his figurine a few spaces from Gaspar's. "I'm as surprised as you that Goomkino was sent away. Especially when it was Kustafa who was looking like he wanted to put a knife in my throat."

"He was also in the bus," said Gaspar. "Want to do the order roll?"

Luigi grabbed a die from the table. "Sure," he said before rolling the die and getting a three.

"Already starting out on the wrong foot. I love it," said a cheery Gaspar before rolling the die and getting a four. "Yes!"

"This is exactly where I want you. Don't get too happy." responded Luigi.

"I know exactly what you are trying to do, and it doesn't work anymore," said Gaspar with a smile.

"You don't know a thing about what I'm trying to do," replied Luigi.

"I know exactly what's going to happen," stated Gaspar "You're going to lose this game and go claim another mysteriously inherited ghost house."

Luigi shook his head. "That would have gotten under my skin a decade ago."

The two traded insults and card-based attacks for an hour before Luigi was defeated soundly by Gaspar. In the middle of the shy guy's celebration, Luigi decided to change the topic entirely.

"Gaspar, I'm going to ask you some serious questions. If you don't feel comfortable with saying anything, then nod or shake your head. If I don't get some real answers, then will find my way back home. I don't care how many people love me here, or what you-know-who has planned for me. I will leave."

Without warning, Gaspar removed his mask. Luigi always found it interesting how shy guys were rarely seen without something over their faces when all they looked like were toads with extremely dark skin.

"Have you been practicing your Heiho?" asked Gaspar.

"The language of your people? Well, I still remember some."

Gaspar unleashed a torrent of Heiho in Luigi's direction and laughed loudly.

Luigi smiled. "Hey, that's between you and the boss lady," responded Luigi in English.

Gaspar smiled. "You do understand!" he exclaimed in Heiho. "Alright. Ask your questions before I change my mind about all of this."

"Gaspar, can you tell me why I am here?" asked Luigi in a broken version of the shy guy language.

"Everybody loves you excluding a few outliers. You're here to make everybody love the mayor before the big vote next month," said Gaspar, somewhat nervous.

Luigi finally felt that he was getting somewhere. "And what is everyone voting on? All I know is that it is a referendum. What are the specifics?" he asked, further terrorizing the shy guy language.

Gaspar nervously looked around and wiped his brow. "If Muraiya should- "

There was a familiar knock at the door, which caused Gaspar to scramble for his mask and Luigi to pick up a few random cards before answering the door. Unsurprisingly, it was Mayor Persimmon, who seemed quite chipper.

"Cards and revelry! Luigi, it is very nice to see that you are having a good time with your guest."

Luigi smiled. "It isn't Final Smash if there isn't impassioned yelling. That said, maybe you should play a round next time instead of trying to listen in."

"I didn't hear much of anything, to tell the honest truth. My eyes and ears extend only to the hallway."

Luigi could sense Gaspar sighing in relief.

"Luigi, I have had you cooped up in a small network of rooms for an entire week. That was a rather inhumane act of mine that is going to change tonight with a trip to Club Mauve, the most exclusive cabaret in Muraiya."

"Is the place truly that nice?" asked Luigi.

"I worked security for that place back in the day. I almost regret leaving," said Gaspar.

Mayor Persimmon shook her head. "Trust me, Gaspar, you are in a better place. That said, and this is quite unfortunate, there is only room for Luigi and I in the booth."

"No problem at all," said Gaspar. "Do you want me to leave now?"

"Not at all. There are still many hours before I have to whisk Luigi away. Sorry about the interruption. Go back to having fun."

As Mayor Persimmon walked away, Luigi closed the door.

"That was far too close, green man," said Gaspar.

"That it was. Well, want to play another game?" asked Luigi.

"Most definitely."

 **II.**

The coming of dusk was met with Gaspar heading home and Mayor Persimmon returning to her increasingly worn spot in front of Luigi's door. They both descended to the waiting limo where Luigi was greeted by the familiar smile of Kuther.

"Long time no see, Luigi!" greeted the koopa with his usual infectious positivity.

"Where did you run off to this past week?" asked Luigi.

"Vacation, and a long deserved one at that," said Kuther as he opened the door for Mayor Persimmon.

"I assume that Goomiel is around here somewhere?" asked Luigi.

"No, actually. He's keeping busy, though," said Kuther, opening the door for Luigi.

After a brief drive through the bright streets of Muraiya City, the limo reached Club Mauve, a large, fancy building that featured an almost oppressive amount of purple. Leading to the front door was a purple carpet on which a number of non-human citizens were lined up. For a split second, Luigi thought that he was going to receive an icy reception from those in line. That fear was abated by the almost hilarious amount of love that he was shown. The mayor, on the other hand, was ignored by all after the cursory handshake. Those clamoring to greet Luigi was a constant well after he and the mayor were seated in their VIP booth on the second floor of the venue.

"Good evening, fine patrons," said a black-robed shy guy with a pair of menus in his hands. "My name is Byron, and I will be your server. May I recommend a drink to start things off?"

"How about a root beer?" asked Luigi.

"Apologies, dear Luigi. You have your choice of juices, wines and harder liquors. Soda is something we do not offer," said Byron as he placed the menus on the table.

"Okay, then some mango juice."

"We only have strawberry mango."

"He'll take the red wine," answered Mayor Persimmon. "I'll take one as well."

"It will arrive shortly," said Byron before walking off.

"That was a total overstep of my bounds, Luigi," said the mayor." That said, the juice is the one thing that they skimp on in this place."

"Hey, I appreciate being spared the disappointment of watered down fruit juice," said Luigi with a chuckle.

The ambient noise of the venue was broken by light, jazzy music coming from the orchestra pit in front of the stage.

"Mayor Persimmon, would you say that I am living up to your expectations of me?" asked Luigi, breaking the silence at the table.

"This week has gone entirely as predicted," answered Persimmon, quite robotically.

"And that is a good thing?"

"Indeed, it is."

"Then maybe your predicted what I'm going to say. Mayor, even when I am cooped up in an office, I still get tidbits of what is happening on a local level. I talk to far too many people for ignorance to be an option."

"You are not incorrect. What have you heard?" asked Persimmon.

Luigi shook his head. "I'm not trying to validate the half-truths of random individuals."

"That is very wise."

"Tell me about the referendum, mayor."

Mayor Persimmon loudly sighed. "The futility of holding that information from you was drilled into me a number of months ago. I, being stubborn, chose to ignore it. Luigi, Muraiya is a place of finite natural resources. We have a river and, for the most part, it rains when it supposed to. Everything else must be imported. Ten percent of what we import comes from locations like Prisma Island and Rogueport, with those goods go to the old city down south. The other ninety percent is sent to Muraiya City and comes from the Queendom of Sarasaland."

"Daisy?" asked a curious Luigi.

"Muraiya has always had a close relationship with the Queen. That said, the relationship became a full-onmarriage during the great struggle of last year when we depended on Sarasaland for the month of month survival of the city. There was no rain, no crops, no livestock, and barely any will to live. Sarasaland saved us, but it did not save the faith that the citizens had in me. Many people saw themselves as better off being ruled by Sarasaland, which was a ludicrous concept until we became dependent on the Queendom. A petition relating to Sarasaland's possible rule of Muraiya was drafted. Again, we in government saw it as a complete and utter joke until tens of thousands of individuals signed it. Our hands were tied by the law. The referendum vote was an obligation. On the fifteenth of next month, the citizens of Muraiya will come together to answer a simple question: _Should Muraiya abandon its independence and become a territory of the Queendom of Sarasaland?"_

The two sat in silence as Byron, the server returned with the two drinks.

"Your wines," said Byron, placing them on the table.

"Thank you," said Persimmon. As the server walked away, she downed the glass in seconds.

Before things could get any more awkward, the stage lights went down and the orchestra launched into a rousing overture. Instead of the curtain opening up on an immaculately painted backdrop, the crowd was graced by a tuxedo clad boom-boom holding a microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, in my four years being master of ceremonies here at Club Mauve, I never thought that I would have the opportunity to shout out a very special person that is in our midst. Tonight, we have been joined by Luigi!"

Luigi tried to keep his head low as the crowd erupted upon hearing his name. When the spotlight was aimed directly at the booth, he had no choice but to get up and wave to everyone.

"With that out of the way," continued the MC, allow us to tell a tale of love lost and power gained."

Luigi and Mayor Persimmon were treated to three hours of singing, dancing and the odd magic trick as they were served quite the spread for dinner. After all was said and done, Luigi was led out, but not without considerable gridlock by excited non-human individuals at the door. It was almost as if Luigi wasn't responsible for sending a number of their kind to prison.

Back in the limo, Luigi and Persimmon shared light conversation about their lives back on Earth. Both laughed when Kuther expressed an interest in going there and finding a job driving around important people.

"One of two things will happen, Kuther," started Luigi. "You will either end up in a lab with scientists scooping out your brain, or you will end up doing your job so well that you will cost people their livelihood and end up getting attacked out of spite. Either way, you are going to be badly hurt or killed."

"No way is that true," said Kuther. "Not even the worse human here wants to dissect me."

"The key word being _here,_ " said Luigi as he looked out the window. "I don't mean to be disrespectful, but something needs to be done about the traffic. You ever think about installing transport pipes?"

The mayor shook her head. "I'd rather be stuck in traffic than die in a pipe."

"Pipes are actually quite safe if you keep them serviced," responded Luigi.

"Yes, but look how easy it was for a pipe to burst and send you on your way here."

Luigi nodded and smiled. "You got me there."

The mayor let a minute go by. "Luigi, when was the last time you were in contact with Queen Daisy?"

Luigi knew where Persimmon was headed with that. "It has been years."

"Were you two not lovers?"

"We were good friends, but that fell apart completely when she was made queen."

"Would you say that you have an obligation to her?"

"Well, I'm not going to lead an attack on her castle any time soon."

"And I would not ask for that. What I must ask is how comfortable would you be seeing her fail?"

"You want to know if I am going to betray you the second that Daisy touches down in Muraiya," said Luigi, looking straight into Persimmon's eyes.

"You are correct," replied the mayor.

Luigi let a few moments of silence go by.

"If you want me to help you, Mayor Persimmon, then you must stop imposing your will onto me. Let me be free to do what I want, whenever I want to do it. You might think that I'm going to disappear into the night, but I assure you that it is not my time to leave."

 **III.**

After the Daisy-centered interrogation on what was supposed to be a period of relaxation, Luigi was happy to be in his office the next day. He picked up the receiver on the office's phone and punched in a number.

"Guys, I am more than ready to get this show on the road," said Luigi to a faceless figure on the other end. "Send the first citizen up."

After a brief wait, Luigi noticed a female goomba waddling down the hall. She wore an incredibly pained expression on her face.

"Greetings, ma'am" said Luigi. "Judging by your expression, you have one hell of a problem for me to tend to."

"Hello, and I do," replied the goomba.

"What's your name, young lady?"

"Doctor Gilda of Terasburg, and I am an adult."

"I admit to being ignorant of where Terasberg is located. Where is it?"

"It's in Southernmost Muraiya."

Luigi immediately had a bad feeling about what was going to come next. That said, he managed to force a large, fake smile.

"If I'm not mistaken, you're one of the first citizens from Southernmost Muraiya to enter my office," said Luigi.

Gilda shook her head. "I'm the second, actually. My husband was up here not too long ago. He worked for the police department.

Luigi would have cursed loudly if he wasn't trying to stay professional.

"Is your husband why you are here today?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Tell me about him."

"He is a good man who puts the needs of family, friends, and the community as a whole before his own. He ensures that the poorest of the poor have a roof over their head and food to eat. Recently, he wanted nothing more but to show you Terasberg, what isn't provided by Mayor Persimmon, and what you can do to help our cause. He sent one of his subordinates to pick you up that night. You remember when. Don't play stupid with me," said Gilda, voice starting to tremble. "My husband is Goomkino, chief of the Muraiya Police Department. He currently sits in jail awaiting deportation or worse with every officer and guard that was going to take part in a tour that you asked for! Many lives, including my own, were ruined that day!"

Luigi cleared his throat. "Listen, Goomkino and I had a very pleasant conversation in this office. We both had some wrong assumptions about each other to clear up, but once that was handled, everything was great. Yes, I wanted to see Southernmost Muraiya and I was ready to go. What I wasn't ready for was the subordinate that was sent to my door that night. The more he talked, the more it seemed like I was going to wake up in a shallow grave the next morning. So, I balked on him, the chief, and a number of other people, seemingly. Everyone around here thinks of me as some all-knowing, all-trusting figure when the reality is that I have gotten on the bad side of a lot of bad people, and I must react accordingly to possible danger. Goomkino doesn't deserve to be in prison, and I will do what I can do rectify that situation. What is up to him is to properly vet his future associates so that this doesn't happen again."

Gilda looked at Luigi disapprovingly. "I want to trust you, but I can't."

Before Luigi could conjure another profound statement out of the ether, Gilda walked out of the door and was immediately replaced by a human male in a somewhat oversized suit.

"The hell happened in there?" the man asked.

Luigi smiled. "Oh, nothing. Just having a little chit-chat with one of my fans."

The rest of the work day was considerably less stressful for Luigi, though he did have to field back to back marriage proposals. After he dealt with the last citizen of the day, a bus driver with a legitimate gripe about infrastructure, Luigi returned to the office phone to test his newfound independence with a call to the switchboard operator.

"Operator speaking. How may I help you?" asked the chipper voice of what Luigi assumed was a woman.

"Yes, this is Luigi. Could you patch me through to the, um, prison?"

"About time they let you make your own calls."

"I had to pull teeth for this."

"I see. Anyway, off you go."

Luigi heard a number of clicks before being startled by a deep voice on the other end.

"Hey, is this Luigi?"

"Yes, it is," responded Luigi with a smile that no one was going to see.

"This is unprofessional as all hell, but I must say that I'm a big fan of your work, and it makes my crap day better to be in contact with you," stated the man.

"I don't mean to cut you off, but I have no idea who you are," said Luigi.

The man laughed. "My name is Keith Branson. I'm the warden here at Iron Stripe Rehabilitation Center."

"I wasn't expecting to start out talking to the top brass," said Luigi with a chuckle.

"If you weren't who you are, then you would have been rejected outright. Trust me."

"Thanks for leaving the door open for me."

"So, what do you need?"

"I have a few questions and an absolutely ridiculous request depending on what I get."

"Sounds like you want to pull some strings," said Keith in a tone that Luigi couldn't make out.

"More like right some wrongs," retorted Luigi.

"If it makes my life easier, then I'm all for it. Throw those questions at me."

"This is about a certain former police chief named Goomkino."

Keith sighed. "No offense, but I don't he deserves any more kicks while he's down."

"I'm trying to get him back on his feet, man. Anyway, what charge is he facing?"

"Conspiracy to commit a crime against you," said Keith, uncomfortably.

"Do you feel that the charge is just?" asked Luigi.

"Hell no."

"Would you say that he was a good chief of police?"

"He righted a lot of wrongs around here."

"What about Officer Kustafa?"

Keith cleared his throat. "I'm not going to get into it."

Luigi pondered the answers for a moment.

"I'm going to abuse my power now and worry about the consequences later. I need you to release Goomkino and everyone else that was jailed that day. That includes Kustafa."

"That's one hell of a demand," said Keith after a gasp. "They won't be getting their jobs back, you know?"

"I'll figure that out later," said Luigi. "Just release them and send them all to their respective homes. If anyone in any high places gives you grief, then invoke my name."

Luigi's scheming nearly fell apart completely once Mayor Persimmon and a particularly irritated Chief Martinez caught wind of it. After a tense meeting of the minds, the two women were won over when Luigi broke down how good that Goomkino's release would be for public opinion of the administration. Though the former chief wouldn't get his job back the plan was to have Goomkino would play an important role in Southernmost Muraiya's authority system. As for the subordinates that went down with their leader, it was up to him to make sure that they were given work the equivalent to what they were doing before their prison stint.

The actual release of Goomkino and his subordinates went so smoothly that it all seemed unreal to Luigi. The group of five formerly disgraced authority figures and their chief celebrated their freedom by openly praising the man whose lies sent them to prison and his ability to realize his mistakes and take the needed actions to rectify them. When former officer Kustafa's handshake turned into a long embrace, Luigi was convinced that the falling pipe under the Mushroom Kingdom had bashed his brains to mush and that he was in a dream brought on by a coma.

After all of the unbelievable positivity of the moment, everyone involved, including the new Chief of Police Martinez, took a bus down to Southernmost Muraiya to turn the whole thing into one glorious bit of public relations. After touching down in the town of Terasberg, Luigi could barely take in the relaxed, suburban life of the south before he was thrown behind a podium and forced to speech for a crowd that was growing in size by the minute.

"Hello, everyone. Nice to finally get down here," said Luigi with a smile on his face.

The crowd, mostly consisting of goombas and koopas, cheered. Standing taller than everyone was an obviously irritated mouser, a species that Luigi had not seen in years.

"I must say that the vibe here is completely different than I thought it was going to be. When I want to escape from the hustle and bustle of the city, I know where to go."

The crowd was appreciative towards that statement. The mouser folded his arms and sneered.

Unfortunately, I am not here to purchase a summer home. I am here to atone for one of the biggest mistakes that I have made in my life. Without getting too deep into the specifics of my addled judgement at the time, Goomkino and his partners were imprisoned as a result of me misunderstanding a long-standing procedure. In the days that followed, a very important individual came to light, who promptly illuminated my error."

The crowd was hanging on his every word. The mouser looked as if he wanted to do great harm to Luigi.

"Goomkino, I offer you my deepest apologies and impatiently wait the next time that your company and I work together."

The event dragged on longer than Luigi was comfortable with. Looking at the captivated faces of the audience, it seemed like the only one who shared his opinion was the mouser, who vanished from the crowd the moment that Goomkino started to speak. After a few words from the elder of Terasberg, the gathering was concluded and, surprisingly, most of the citizens went back to their homes.

"May I have some time to myself?" asked Luigi to Mayor Persimmon.

"Go right ahead," said the mayor, who seemed extremely happy with how everything went.

Luigi spent more than his fair share of time exploring Terasberg due to the sheer amount of hospitality thrown his way. While the citizens of the south weren't openly stalking him like those in Muraiya City, Luigi lost count of how many opened their doors to greet him as he walked by. The warm greetings turned into heaping piles of food shoved in his direction by accomplished cooks who Luigi felt should have been running their own restaurant instead on wasting their skills on him. Luigi's bountiful journey ended in the warehouse district on the town's southern tip. Surprisingly, he was treated like a longtime friend by the burly workers who nearly hurt him with their monstrous pats on his back. As the workers returned to their assorted tasks, Luigi caught a glimpse of a familiar individual using a forklift to haul crates between a shipping container and one of the warehouses. It was the mouser that was sneering at him through the entirety of his speech. The mouser looked over at Luigi, did a double take and adjusted his shades. Luigi immediately felt uncomfortable as the tall, bulky rodent exited the forklift and started walking in his direction.

"You here to work?" asked the mouser with considerably less disdain than Luigi was expecting.

Luigi thought hard about his response. "Of course, I am."

The mouser nodded. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Let's go."

"What's your name, pal?" asked Luigi as he walked beside the mouser.

"Pico. Like the street," replied the mouser.

"Not really familiar with that one," said Luigi.

"Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles, man."

"I was a lifetime New Yorker before I was dropped into the Mushroom Kingdom. I couldn't tell you anything about Los Angeles besides Hollywood and Disneyland."

"Pico cringed. "Disneyland is in Anaheim. Why the hell do I know more about your home country than you do?"

Luigi chuckled. "That's my question."

"I've been shoulder to shoulder with a lot of hard workers from the west coast," said Pico.

"From how you were staring me down earlier, I thought you were the type that hated humans with a passion," said Luigi.

"That wasn't hatred, Luigi. That was a major dislike with what I was hearing," said Pico as he stopped by the forklift. "Do me a favor and go into that warehouse over there. Walk over to the half stack of crates and wait for me to show up with some more. I want you to spot me. Make sure everything isn't about to topple over."

Luigi walked over to the warehouse expecting the absolute worst to happen the second that he set foot inside. What he got was a pile of crates that were went slightly askew on the top half. Pico eventually returned with a forklift full of crates and pointed out the issue.

"Well look at that. I'm not going to say that I'm losing my touch, but I will admit that this whole thing with Goomkino has me agitated as all hell," said Pico as he exited the forklift and showed his strength by adjusting the crates by hand.

"I still don't know if I made the right decision on that matter," replied Luigi.

The mouser liked that answer. "Are you telling me that things can still change?"

"Should they?"

"Damn right they should."

"I'm going to need a little more than that to gets the gears turning for a second time," said Luigi.

Pico carefully placed a few more crates on the existing pile.

"There's a breakroom on the west side of this building. Wait for me there. I'll tell you the whole story after I finish my work," said Pico.

Luigi exited the building and looked over at the lonely looking breakroom on its west side. He took a single step towards the room before coming to the conclusion that his time in the warehouse district was getting a little long in the tooth, and that he didn't want to spend a minute more with an individual who wasn't entirely happy with his most recent decision. Luigi was a few seconds into his trip back to town square before he heard Pico's voice from not too far away.

"The room is right there, man! To your right!"

Begrudgingly, Luigi entered the breakroom, which resembled a small cafeteria. Flanking the somewhat grimy tables were vending machines, a water fountain, and a restroom that was down a dark hall. Luigi sat down listened to the sound of the struggling air conditioner until Pico's arrival a number of minutes later.

"Should have bought yourself an energy drink, man. Got some good stuff in that machine," said Pico, placing his lunch box on the table.

"I'm more of a coffee drinker," replied Luigi.

"I never could stand the stuff. I'd blame coming from Subcon, but I've seen shy guys down coffee by the gallon," said Pico, sitting down.

"Speaking of Subcon, were you ever boss mouser?" asked Luigi.

"I wasn't exactly next in line to be promoted. When word got out that Wart was out of the picture and the portal was open, I was part of the first wave out of that hell hole."

"Where did you end up after that?" asked Luigi.

"The Mushroom Kingdom, though the toads gave me the punt before I could do much of anything," responded Pico

"Did you see me or my brother?"

"The town wasn't anywhere close to the castle."

"I think I know what town you are talking about," said Luigi with a little smile. "There was a point in time when the Princess had to slap up some toads out north that were giving the kingdom a bad name with their very presence. They never stopped being jerks. Just stopped being embarassings ones."

"Nice to hear. Anyway, I ended up rooming on what I thought was an old rust bucket of a boat that was well beyond its days on the open ocean. I fell asleep one night and woke up in Rogueport, where I became partners with a trio of bad actors that called themselves the Dead City Scramblers. Yes, I realize how unforgivably stupid that name is. We were bad, Luigi. Theft, assault, arson, trafficking. We weren't killers, though. We had _some_ morals. After a shipment of ice flower fell into our laps, we cut it up, sold it off, and walked out with a cool six million coins each," said Pico, proud of his past accomplishments.

"With all that money in the bank, what brought you to hauling crates in the middle of nowhere?"

"After some high-profile crimes in Rogueport, a group of vigilantes appeared out of the shadows to 'take back the city,' or whatever. One of them was Goomkino."

"A vigilante goomba?" asked a skeptical Luigi.

"He rolled around in a spiked helmet, was often in spiked boots, and carried multiple stars," replied Pico.

"Vicious."

"To tell the truth, I never had a personal run-in with him, as I retired not too long after gaining all of that money. I can't say the same thing for the scramblers, who were constantly running from him and his posse. Things got worse when the vigilantes became the official police force of Rogueport. They scrubbed the soul out of the city, forcing the scramblers into Glitzville to avoid arrest. Months later, the scramblers returned home only to be arrested the moment that they set foot off of the blimp. When charges didn't stick, contraband was magically found inside of their respective holding cells, and they were given 60 years in prison. Having nothing to live for, they staged a riot during lunch and were killed in the mess hall. Fearing that I was next, I left my sweet apartment and took off for the new settlement of Muraiya. I got here and had a productive two years before I turned around and saw the so-called 'cleaner of Rogueport,' Goomkino promoted to chief of police."

"Did he go after you?" asked Luigi.

"Again, we never had any business with each other," replied Pico. "That said, any anger on my part was wiped away as soon as I heard that Goomkino was locked up after crossing you. I was going to shake your hand, give you a big hug and congratulate you on a job well done in the name of those who Goomkino had wronged. That was before this evening happened."

"I did what I thought was right at the time," said Luigi

"I realize that, which is why I told you my story, and why I'm giving you a chance to clean the mess that you created through the release of that walking sack of filth."

Luigi had no desire to change his mind in regards to Goomkino, but he long realized that he couldn't just say that to Pico.

"I'll let the mayor know about what I heard today. As you already know, things are a bit slow to get into gear, but I guarantee that I will get back to you when they do," lied Luigi as he stood from the bench.

"That's not what I want to hear," said Pico, also standing up.

"Okay, then what should I have said?" asked Luigi.

"That Goomkino and his lackeys are going to be rounded back up and thrown under the damn jail by sunset!" said an angry Pico.

"That's not happening, Pico. Not with that ridiculous story you just told me. Listen, grab your millions of coins and take a trip to Poshley Heights if you want to get away from Goomkino so badly. If you'd excuse me, I'm going home."

Pico quickly used his large frame to block the door. Luigi concluded that he finally hit the day in his short time in Muraiya where everything was going to go wrong.

"You don't deserve any of the respect and adoration that you get from these idiots," said Pico, taking off his shades and giving Luigi full eye contact. "You are a spineless coward that couldn't hold a candle to your brother. Mario defeated Bowser to save Princess Peach. Mario defeated Wart and freed Subcon. Mario saved those powerless kings from a lifetime of being lesser animals. Mario drove the Koopa clan out of Dinosaur Land. You? You pushed a vacuum around a ghost house trying not to piss your pants."

Luigi smiled. "You aren't going to get a rise out of me by telling the truth, Pico. How about you step aside and let the biggest fraud this side of the Mushroom Kingdom go back to the shack where he belongs?"

Pico stepped aside and motioned for Luigi to leave. Right as he reached the door, Pico tightly grabbed Luigi's arm with his left hand, unsheathed a knife with his right and viciously plunged the blade multiple times into what Pico thought was Luigi's chest cavity. Upon the final strike, the blade broke off of its handle, leaving nothing but a jagged nub and the realization that Pico had been gouging away at a koopa shell vest that Luigi had started wearing for protection against what had just happened to him.

Luigi got his bearings and tore into Pico's jaw with a ferocious right hook that dropped the large rodent on his back. Luigi then mounted Pico and unleashed a volley of punches towards his head in an attempt to subdue or graphically disfigure based upon the flow of the fight. Sensing his assailant getting careless with glancing blows at best, Pico caught Luigi's right arm in his mouth and bit down hard. Luigi screamed in pain and frantically tried to pry open Pico's jaw with his free hand. That resulted in Pico biting even deeper into Luigi's arm, and the supposed living legend letting out the anguished cry of the hopelessly ensnared. In a panic, Luigi used his free hand to gouge Pico's left eye. The mouser let out a pathetic squeal of his own, releasing Luigi's arm in the process.

Luigi quickly rose to his feet and bolted for the exit. Upon trying to open the door with his dominant hand, he noticed that his right arm was a limp, mangled mess that was leaking vital fluids at a rate that wasn't conducive to living for much longer without treatment. Luigi placed his left hand on the door handle, looked back at Pico and noticed that he was both standing up and, much to Luigi's terror, had done the one thing all mousers were born with the ability to do: conjure a pre-lit bomb. Luigi quickly pivoted to make a hasty exit, and the last thing he remembered of the altercation was a deafening blast, an intense heat, and the sensation of flying through the air before crashing in a smoldering heap.

 **Author's Note: As much as this chapter was looking like my Half Life 3, the only real trouble I had was having to rewrite the entirely of the third act due to disliking the original version. As Luigi is out of commission for a bit, we'll be taking a trip over to the Mushroom Kingdom in the next chapter. It shouldn't take me** _ **months**_ **to write it. See ya!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

I.

It was minutes to four in the morning when Mario finished packing his item box with an inventory varied enough to take on any threat that could possibly rear its ugly head. After giving the box a final once over and getting rid of a pack of stickers that had slipped in between objects of actual worth, Mario left his bedroom, entered his kitchen and fixed himself a huge sandwich made with whatever meat and cheese he could find in his cooler. Before Mario was halfway done with the edible brick that he had assembled, his attention was drawn to a soft tapping on his window. Sandwich still in hand, he opened his front door and spoke to the shadowy figure a few steps away.

"Right on time," stated Mario.

"Am I clear to enter?"

Mario surveyed the area around his house. As it was pitch dark, he couldn't see much of anything.

"Yeah."

The toad, face covered by a black scarf, entered the home and sat on the living room couch. Mario, not entirely trusting who he had just let in, stood at a short distance.

"I'm packed and ready to go, pal. Just give me a direction," said Mario before taking another chunk out of his sandwich.

"Sources within the castle state that Luigi has appeared in a settlement south of the Mushroom Kingdom," said the toad, fixing his falling scarf.

"There's a lot of south in the south. I need more detail than that."

"He's with a woman, so I've heard."

"Hey! Now that's what I want to hear!" explained a smiling Mario. "Who's the lucky lady?"

"No clue."

"It's alright. I'll harass him when I find him. Tell me the name of this settlement."

"I don't know."

Mario rolled his eyes. "Come on, now."

"I was already playing with fire eavesdropping on that conversation. No way was I going to turn the corner and try to fill in the blanks," said the incensed toad. "You're the hero, Mario. I think I've given you enough information to put two and two together and come to a conclusion."

After the early morning information session broke down entirely, the mysterious toad scampered out of the area and Mario was forced to think about that proverbial cards that he had been dealt. The concept of Peach Castle being a den of moles in the midst of a chatty sewing circle wasn't exactly foreign, as the toads were almost always talking angrily about one another. Neither was Luigi vanishing without any fanfare, as he was a few steps away from being a reclusive hermit. What made zero sense to Mario was Luigi supposedly being down south due to how uninhabitable the region was to one who didn't have very specific wildlife in their blood. Running out of ideas and having no desire to go on a solo trip through the vast mountains and interminable desert of the region, Mario came up with a conclusion that the princess would have strung him up for even somewhat considering: He had to request the aid of Bowser Koopa. Goal securely in mind, Mario strapped his item box to his back, put on his cape, left his house and took to the skies in the direction of the Old World.

Located absolutely nowhere close to Peach Castle, the Old World was the string of eight regions where Mario and Luigi went on their first adventure. As it had been a hefty amount of years since Mario was given any reason to pass through, he was quite surprised at the amount of development that had taken place. Old World One and Two were filled with quaint houses that did not share the familiar characteristics of buildings inhabited by toads. Old World Three, which sat on the coast, was the home to a swanky beach resort where Mario saw a lone female boo floating along the shoreline. Wanting to pick the ghost's somewhat undead brain, Mario excitedly swooped out of the air and landed right in front of the boo, who wasn't the least bit surprised by Mario's sudden appearance.

"Hello! It's me, Mario. You work here?"

The boo gave Mario an untrusting eye. "You're excited this morning."

"I spent some time in construction. It makes me happy to be surrounded by so much progress," said Mario with a smile.

"Great, and you've come to claim it in the name of the princess. Maybe even destroy it. You're good at ruining things on a grand scale," said the boo.

Mario cringed. "I guess that's following me until I die."

"And after," retorted the boo.

Mario's mood cratered. "Listen, my brother went missing a few weeks ago and I'm on my way to beg for some help finding him. Give my regards to the builders."

Without waiting for a response, Mario turned away from the boo and attempted to take flight. As sand was slowing him down considerably, he gave up on the quick escape and proceeded to walk towards a distant, paved road.

"Wait."

Mario turned around and noticed that the boo had been following him.

"What happened to Luigi?" asked the boo.

"I don't know."

"So, there is a possibility of him being close to death?"

"I hope not."

"We had far too much fun with him back in the old mansion. If he's dead, then we'll have him haunt you, okay?"

"Um, thanks," said Mario

Not too far away from the beach was a gathering of villas where Mario saw far more signs of life than the sole sign of death that he had just finished talking to. As the crowd was a mix of koopas, goombas, shy guys, boos, and assorted creatures that were neither human nor toad, Mario deducted that he was dealing with the remnants of Bowser's army, and that he would experience nothing but hostility from them. After locking eyes with a koopa down below, Mario realized that his assumption had been completely unfounded.

"Mario! Over here!" yelled the koopa while waving. "We want to talk to you!"

Ecstatic to be wrong, Mario landed by the group, which gathered around him.

"I don't know what the toads put in the water over there, but it doesn't look like you've aged a day since we fought each other," said the smiling koopa that flagged him down.

"I didn't think any of you guys would want to talk to me. Especially after my run in with that boo over on the beach."

"Carrie?" asked a female boo that materialized slightly above Mario. "Don't mind the poor girl. Her job is to haul the dead out of the ocean before any of the special guests catch wind of them. A terrible existence after existence if you ask me," she said before vanishing.

Mario was taken aback. "Why is that even necessary?"

"Mangled bodies wash up on the beach every early morning and late evening," said the koopa from earlier. "We aren't big on water, so it's nothing to us. Can't say the same about anyone else."

"You guys live here?" asked Mario.

"Yes. Rent's a little high, but look at this place. It's gorgeous!" said the koopa as the crowd expressed how much they agreed with his statement.

"Who's your landlord?"

"Jules Humphrey. He's a…busy guy who only comes out of his house at night for a host of reasons."

"Human?" asked Mario.

"Yup."

Mario thought about his situation for a second. "Listen, guys. I'm actually passing through on business, but it seems like you need my help more than you need me talking about whatever you wanted me to talk about. Where is Jules' house?"

"The orange one with the pinwheels in front of the door," replied the koopa.

"Thanks. What's your name?"

"Kolbe."

"I'll be back to chat with you and the gang. Until then, It's Mario time."

Mario parted ways with the group and walked over to the villa that he had been directed to. He gave the front door a few knocks and was treated to total silence. He then submitted the door to another round of light pounding, which prompted loud cursing from deep within the home.

"Got a charmer on my hands," said Mario to himself.

The door swung open and Jules Humphrey, a tall, pale man with bloodshot eyes came out ready to verbally terrorize until realizing just who he was looking at.

"Hero of the Mushroom Kingdom in the bloody flesh!" exclaimed Jules, whose mood changed instantly. "Shake my hand you marvelous bastard!"

Mario extended his hand, which was shook violently by Jules.

"I heard that bodies have been washing up on the beach," said Mario.

Jules frowned. "It's terrible, Mario."

"How frequent is it?"

"To the point that all my whales are pissing off elsewhere," said Jules after a deep sigh.

"Whales?" asked Mario, confused.

"Big money blokes. Dignitaries with dinero. _Rich people!"_

Mario nodded. "Why didn't you fill out a trouble sheet and send it to my box?"

"Pride and the fact that you are many hours away."

Mario shook his head. "Okay, are the bodies former guests of the resort?"

"A smattering of them, yes. It's a public beach, so all matters of drunkard stumble their way into the ocean and come back in pieces."

"Hmm. Sounds like there is a bertha out there," deduced Mario.

"The monster fish?" asked a worried Jules.

"That's giving the stupid thing far too much credit," said Mario with a small chuckle. "I'll have it dealt with in a few minutes."

After figuring out the proper payment for the extreme fishing that was going to take place, Mario returned to the beach holding a fishing pole and an oversized lure that were both borrowed from the resort. He handed the equipment over to Carrie and told her to fly above the water and dangle the lure above a very specific location. As Berthas were extremely predictable animals, the one terrorizing the beach leaped after the lure and was cooked to perfection by a fireball hurled by Mario. The event took a grand total of seven minutes, with three of those minutes occupied by cheers from those who lived in the villas, and another was used up by Jules thanking Mario for saving his business. Before Mario moved on, he returned to the group of resort dwellers, who were still buzzing from the day's activity. Among other subjects, they spoke of the fastest route to Old World Eight.

 **II.**

Contrary to popular belief, one of the biggest changes of heart in the history of the Mushroom Kingdom was that of the eight-foot tall, self-appointed king known as Bowser Koopa. Indeed, he was repeatedly beaten within an inch of his life and tossed into the lava that flowed under almost all of his castles, but the important fact was that with every loss came a nugget of inspiration. After what ended up being the final battle between him and Mario, the king of koopas retired from villainy and focused on making the most out of his impressive mechanical know-how through the creation of toys. Bowser's first commercial product was a repurposed and repackaged mecha koopa with minor artificial intelligence, and absolutely no desire to gobble up former plumbers on sight. Bowser went on to make kid-friendly versions of nearly everything that he had used against his foes, with his personal favorite being a cannon that fired foam bullet bills. Unfortunately, every one of his creations rotted on the shelves with an inability to pull numbers even at the deepest of discounts.

"Sir Bowser, I regret interrupting your musing, but we have a special guest at entrance."

Bowser, seated at a large table in what used to be his throne room, looked up from his prototype sketchbook and noticed that koopa troopa Karl was sweating profusely.

"Is she cute?" asked Bowser with a small chuckle. "I don't see anything else getting you this hot and bothered."

Karl recoiled and wiped his brow. "No, sir. I just feel like I have to be extremely delicate with the announcement of- "

"Stop blabbering and tell me who is outside," interrupted Bowser.

"It's Mario, sir," said Karl in a near whisper.

"Arch-rival Mario, or some human who happens to be named Mario?"

"The Mario."

Bowser felt a drop of sweat form on his own face, but he wasn't going to admit that to Karl.

"Let him in."

While Bowser had been in physical contact with Mario through the defunct kart racing league and numerous sporting events, it had been a hefty amount of years since the two spoke to each other for reasons that didn't involve the kidnapping of Princess Peach and the domination of the known world. As Karl had left the office door wide open, Mario entering the lobby of his heavily renovated castle wasn't exactly a surprise. The hero of the Mushroom Kingdom stopped a few times to get a better look at the prototypes that lined the room. After a few minutes of curiosity, Mario made eye contact with his old rival and marched to the open door of the office.

"Bowser," said Mario.

"Mario," grunted Bowser. "Still looking like you're going to unclog my toilet."

"No reason to change now. Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Mario used his foot to see if he could spring any trap doors that could be in front of him.

"Sorry. Force of habit," said Mario.

"I don't blame you."

Mario walked into the office and looked at the unfamiliar sights.

"What happened to your throne room?" asked Mario.

"Same thing that happened to the rest of the castle."

"You remodeled the soul right out of it?"

"Nearly every room in the castle has been altered to facilitate the creation and distribution of children's toys. I saw you looking at a few of my prototypes in the lobby," said Bowser.

"Yeah, they looked fun. I think you have some hits on your hands."

"They're all abject failures, Mario. Not even my former subjects want to purchase something associated with me."

"I think I've seen a toad playing with one of those back at the castle."

"No, you haven't. Anyway, I'm sure you're not here to talk about my faltering toy line."

"I'm not. You see, my brother disappeared a few weeks ago, and the only lead is that he's with some woman in some settlement south of the Mushroom Kingdom."

"That hardly makes things easy," said Bowser.

"Which was both my response to that news, and why I decided to come here in the first place."

"You need my help?"

"To be specific, I need your ship."

"And what do I get out of that?"

"I'm going to turn your business into the global success that it deserves to be."

Bowser was salivating at the concept.

"How's the princess?" asked Bowser.

"Stubborn," replied Mario

"Sounds about right.".

"With all the renovation you've done on this place, I'm wondering if the princess wing still exists."

"Wendy claimed it as soon as Peach left."

Mario smirked. "Peach had a thing for the bed you had installed in her room. Still talks about it from time to time."

Bowser shrugged. "I bought it for cheap in Giant Land."

Mario couldn't believe what he was hearing. "She could have just up and bought it all this time?"

"And with that, one of my secrets has been exposed," said Bowser with a light laugh..

"Anything else while we're at it?" asked Mario.

"No. That said, what are you getting out of our alliance?"

"My brother."

"What else?"

Mario hesitated. "Maybe an answer to a question that has been bugging me for a while now."

"Which is?"

"We haven't found Luigi yet."

"Ask the question," demanded Bowser.

"Fine. How long is this going to last?" asked Mario, drawing a circle in the air with his finger.

"You're asking me about my retirement?"

"Yes."

"Do you understand the logistics of, as they say, getting the band back together?" asked Bowser, with a bit of bitterness.

"I'm thick-headed. Tell me."

"I ruled based on fear. The moment I retired, those that feared me vacated the Mushroom Kingdom, and the others grew apathetic. Even if I had the desire to take another stab at the Mushroom Kingdom-which I don't, I simply don't have the terrified masses for that to work."

"What about Peach?" asked Mario, coldly.

"What about her?" replied Bowser in a similarly chilly tone.

"Are you through going after her specifically?"

"Mario, one of the last times that we fought came a number of weeks after I had forced the princess to marry me in a massive ceremony in my Dark Land manor. That woman's first order of business was to topple over a beautiful, seven-tier cake that my star chefs had been planning for weeks."

Bowser noticed Mario trying to repress a smile. He ignored it.

"The cake was part of an enormous, buffet-style spread at the reception. A few statements were going to be made, and then all of us were going to feast like we never feasted before. Right in the middle of Kamek's speech, Peach literally floated over to the buffet and started stomping on the food!"

Mario let out a small chuckle. Bowser was starting to get annoyed.

"Go ahead! Get your laughs in! You know what isn't funny? Having your queen get into the heads of the most idiotic soldiers in your army and turning them into walking liabilities! You don't understand how much damage a koopa can do when they are promised a dessert and an autographed picture taken right out of the shower!"

The temperature in the room started to increase as Bowser ranted.

"After causing infighting that went on for far too long, she tossed sand into the engines of doomships Alpha, Beta, and Gamma, causing hundreds of millions of coins worth of damage and nearly killing my children as a result!

Smoke billowed from Bowser's nostrils. Mario braced himself for something major.

"She then turned her charms on my elite guard, seized control of a tank, and led a one-woman assault on Dark Land manor when I was out tending to projects that would have dramatically increased her quality of life! I returned to an unlivable husk, an unrepentant queen, an army of morons who never got their autographed pictures, and a realization that I had been barking up the wrong tree for far too many years! You finally showed up and what did I do?"

"You kind of fell over after I bopped you three times," responded Mario.

"Correct. I barely put up a fight. I let you have her. With everything that I went through, there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL that I will EVER even CONSIDER capturing that two-faced, good for nothing, flea-ridden, sociopathic jezebel AGAIN!"

The flames that jet from Bowser's throat set off the castle's newly installed sprinkler system.

"Is that what you wanted to hear?" asked the former king of all koopas.

"Something like that," said Mario, wiping his face.

"Then let's go find your brother."

…

"Green man, are you sure that the warp that brought you to Muraiya is around here?"

"Goomiel and Kuther were standing on this spot when I came out the pipe."

"There isn't even rubble, though. You can't just delete one of those things out of existence."

"They take weeks of work to safely decommission."

"So, as long as you've been in Muraiya?"

"What's that noise?"

"It…It's the two-hour warning! We have to get back behind the walls and under the protective cloak!"

"What does it mean?"

"Imminent threat from the sky!"

 **Author's Note: Check out Nuclear Phantasy by Magikoopa981. It's good stuff. Catch you guys later!**

…


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

After eating a point-blank blast from an explosive powerful enough to level a building and surviving only due to the superhuman defense that he had developed over time in the Mushroom Kingdom, the temporarily cane-bound Luigi could only shake his head at what he saw before Gaspar hurriedly drove him back towards Muraiya.

"With all that went into bringing me to Muraiya, I should have expected a contingency plan in regards to my possible exit," said Luigi as he looked out the window.

"I don't know about that, green man. If what you described is in any way accurate, then the only way to get back up there is by a P-wing, and who still makes those things nowadays?" said Gaspar, who was still quite calm for someone driving so fast.

"They'd still be on the market if their use was limited to people who knew their limitations."

" _Infinite flight with no strings attached_. I remember the ads," said Gaspar.

"Until you are swatted out of the air and meet a messy end from a high altitude," said Luigi as he looked up into the sky. "What is this threat we are trying to avoid anyway?"

"I've got a rare card on Bowser."

Luigi opened his eyes wide. "Do you?"

"Don't try to challenge me, green man. We're sent under the cloak any time that the big guy gets within spitting distance of the Doomship," said Gaspar.

"How is a large piece of fabric going to save Muraiya from the hypothetical invasion by Bowser?"

"It's half-magic, half-technological stuff involving the walls projecting a false image of the area covering Muraiya."

"So, it's a really big hologram?" deadpanned Luigi.

"Pretty much," responded Gaspar.

"And does it provide any real protection?"

"No. That is where the cannons come in."

"Wouldn't the cannons give the city away almost instantly?" asked Luigi, not exactly comfortable with what he was hearing.

"They're only used if we're attacked first."

"And this is all protection mostly against Bowser Koopa, who, more than likely, already knows that Muraiya exists."

"He doesn't. We're sure of it," retorted Gaspar, swiftly.

"How do you know?" asked Luigi.

"Did you know of Muraiya before you got here?"

Luigi chuckled. "Well, you got me on that one. Where are the two of us going to be when the Doomship passes through?"

"I'm going to drop you off at the gate and have the others point you in a direction. I'm going to be up on the observation platform," answered Gaspar. "You're a massive celebrity, so I'm pretty sure the mayor is going to want you in Elite Evacuation."

"What's that?" asked Luigi.

"A hole in the ground that is technically outside of Muraiya. The common folk are sent to General Evacuation, which is also underground, but more of an enormous, temporary city."

"How can you stuff everyone in the city underground without it being the mother of all health code violations?" asked an incredulous Luigi.

"There's a lot of space down there," replied Gaspar.

"Just as long as I'm not within arm's reach of another bomb-toting freak with a vendetta, then all is well."

"Since you brought that up, green man," started Gaspar without any hesitation. "I need, like, all of the details on what happened that day. The story changes every time it's told, and the only person who hasn't really said much about it is the one who is still alive."

Luigi wasn't overly proud of the incident with Pico, so he left Gaspar hanging in the hope that he would just let it be.

"We've got a half hour left before we hit Muraiya, green man. The silent treatment isn't going to work. That, and I know you want to talk," said Gaspar, seeing right through Luigi's plan.

Luigi sighed. "There was a mouser that was eyeing me throughout my speech in Southernmost Muraiya. Afterwards, I was walking around, making light conversation with the citizens until I ran into the mouser again. He wasn't exactly a fan of the decision that was made relating to former Chief Goomkino. He tried to get me to change my mind with a wild story, but I didn't budge. There was a fight and that let to me being blown up."

"Damn, green man!" exclaimed Gaspar. "I know this is late, but you have to watch your back around mousers. I haven't run into a good one yet and I'm including my time in Subcon."

The two maintained light conversation until they reached the great wall of Muraiya, where their chat was drowned out by the nigh-deafening volume of the threat alarm. When the hammer brothers at the checkpoint noticed just who was in the vehicle, they started to freak out.

"Do you have any idea just how close we were to being thrown in the slammer over your little escapade, Gaspar?" angrily asked the first guard.

"You're so damn late that it isn't funny, bro," said the second. "You know damn well that big man there should be in the hole with the mayor!"

"Okay, so which one of us is going to take him to Elite Evacuation?" asked Gaspar.

"None of us have any time for any of that," said the first guard. "We're sending him to general."

"There's more than enough time," said the second guard.

"We're not driving clear across town, out east gate and back when we can just send him down the elevator that is a few short feet away from the checkpoint," stated the first guard with authority. "He's going to General. Don't question me any further."

The aforementioned elevator was far more than a few feet north along the wall, but it indeed was shorter than a crosstown journey. Before limping into the elevator's car, Luigi looked up and noticed that the shaft led up to the enclosed observation deck. He was curious about what was going on up there, but decided to go along with the plan as to not get any of the guards in trouble. Luigi used the extended range offered to him by his cane to press the elevator's access button and lurched in after the doors opened.

"Big Green, is that you?" asked a voice coming from the intercom beside the button panel.

"I hope so," said Luigi, holding down the button marked _press to talk_ right under the speaker.

"Good, so let me inform you on what's going to happen. When you hit the bottom floor, you'll be approached by a friendly and given a GenEvac card. It's what you use to buy food and other amenities beyond what you're already given for free. Follow your new friend into General Evacuation proper and do whatever he says until the threat passes. Copy?"

"Sounds good," said Luigi. "Who is this friendly face anyway? The mayor?"

"No and you'll see. Over and out."

Though he was close enough to use his hand, Luigi complicated the matter of pressing the button for the bottom floor by trying to theatrically use his cane. After it fell a few times, he finally gave up and slammed the button with his fist.

There was laughter from the intercom. "We all saw that," said the disembodied voice.

Upon reaching the bottom floor, Luigi hobbled down a cramped, though brightly-lit corridor until he got to a closed door. Before he could find a new and creative way to interact with it using his cane, the door opened and on the other end was a large, smiling, tuxedo-clad figure that Luigi had been watching weekly on his television.

"Don Papisumo?" asked Luigi, on the verge of being star-struck.

"Caballero verde!" exclaimed Don Papisumo. "I was going to give you three guesses to figure out who I am before giving up on the games and introducing you to Gala Grande, but it seems like you are already familiar with my show."

"Very much so. I've been watching it since I got here," replied Luigi.

"Then you know about the various cheap knockoffs that I have been interviewing in your place," said Don Papisumo with the smallest bit of displeasure.

Luigi smiled. "Of course. Buzzy Beetle Luigi had an interesting take on the world."

Don Papisumo was surprised. "You liked that one? Everybody thought that was my worst interview. I was starting to believe them until ten seconds ago. Listen, I have something for you."

Don Papisumo pulled out what looked like a debit card and handed it to Luigi.

"Is this the GenEvac card?" asked Luigi.

"Gold at that, so you can eat like a pig. I don't even have one of those!" stated Don Papisumo. Anyway, come with me. We have much to do and not a lot of time to do it."

"It's going to take a little more than that to have me go along with whatever your plan is," said a cautious Luigi. "As much as I like you, the last time I followed a strong personality into a confined place, I had to be scraped off of the floor."

"The only reason you're down here is because I tipped a few of the guards quite handsomely to not take you over to Elite Evacuation. Why did I do that? Well, I want to finally do an interview with the real Luigi on a very special edition of Gala Grande," said Don Papisumo.

"And that, my friend, is all I needed to hear."

After what felt to Luigi like ten minutes of walking through tight hallways, the pair reached a heavy door that didn't look like it was going to open for anyone. Without warning, Don Papisumo used his immense strength and pounded so loudly on the door that Luigi could feel the reverberation in his soul.

"It's Papisumo! Open the door!" shouted Don Papisumo.

The door's peephole slid open, which led to the door itself slowly opening a few moments later. On the other side was a small room that was packed to the gills with incredibly stressed looking individuals. An angry male lakitu puttered over and was obviously going to give Don Papisumo the business until he was stopped as soon as he saw Luigi.

"Don, you madman! You got him!" exclaimed the lakitu who Luigi recognized from various skits as Director Irwin. "Luigi, this was quite literally the worst day in my life until I saw that oily face of yours! I need to get you to makeup STAT!"

"Still working on Mamisuma over here!" shouted a voice from one of the corners of the room.

"Mamisuma always looks good!" yelled Irwin. "Luigi, on the other hand, looks like a damn bum! Priorities, guys!"

Director Irwin floated over to the makeup chair and started getting into a heated argument with everyone involved.

"And here I thought Director Irwin was a character created for the show," said Luigi with a smile.

"Not at all, amigo," responded Don Papisumo, shaking his head. "I have to get ready for the festivities. I'll leave you in the more than capable hands of el jefe."

The moment the intimidating wall of a sumo brother that was Don Papisumo left the picture, Luigi was swarmed by Gala Grande staff members. He made small talk with them until Irwin darted over and pushed Luigi toward a rather comfortable looking chair in the corner of the room that was adjacent to a large mirror. Beside the chair was a gaudy looking female koopa who did makeup, and Mamisuma, the unfathomably beautiful sumo sister that co-hosted Gala Grande.

"Irwin had me divert attention from my craft for this?" asked the annoyed makeup artist upon seeing Luigi. 'He needs some powder on his face at the most!"

"And here I thought that Papisumo had lost his mind entirely with his plan to pluck you out of the hands of Mayor Persimmon," said Mamisuma in a pleasant tone. "Anyway, Luigi, I welcome you to the warzone that is Gala Grande's mixed-purpose room in General Evacuation. I know this place makes a terrible first impression, but it's all we have down here."

"I'm from New York," said Luigi with a bit of pride. "I've experienced my share of postage stamp sized apartments. This doesn't faze me at all."

"All of this farting around when showtime is right around the corner is fazing me a great deal!" said the still nameless makeup artist. "I don't care how much of a hero you are. Close your mouth and get in this chair!"

Luigi shot a look at Mamisuma, who sprang into action.

"Listen, Leticia. You might want to calm down on the attitude just a bit with such a distinguished guest," said Mamisuma.

"He didn't do anything for me besides show up and give me a headache!" retorted Leticia.

"It's okay, ladies. Just point me in the direction of the green room and I'll wait there for further instructions," said Luigi, trying to end the little spat.

"This technically is the green room," said Mamisuma with a chuckle. "That said, there are a few couches and a monitor over there by the southern exit. It leads right to the stage."

"Thanks. I'll head in that direction. Have a nice show," said Luigi.

Mamisuma smiled. "You're talking like you aren't a major part of it."

Luigi eased his way through the crush of staffers that were still trying to get a word in with him as they got ready for the show. He reached the set of unremarkable sofas and was surprised at how comfortable they were. Luigi then fixed his attention on the television, on which he saw stage crew frantically putting the finishing touches on what looked like a bed.

"Ten-minute warning, guys!" shouted Director Irwin from his cloud-aided, elevated position above the staff. "If you feel even the slightest urge to pee, then you better be halfway inside the bathroom and be ready to assume your designated position as soon as you step out! If you need to be reminded of where you should be in the next nine minutes and thirty seconds, then I will waste breath telling you what you should have already known! If you're in the band, then exit on to the stage and walk down the stairs into the pit. Transition team uses the same exit and takes a left through the curtain. Lighting crew, oh my God. If you're still in here, then you better sprint upstairs and make sure that is isn't looking like we lost power out there! Next up we have the cast in order of appearance: Timateo, Tomatina, Don Papisumo, Mamisuma. That's segment one. Mamisuma and the special guest makes up segment two and make sure that the connection holds! Segment three is Papisumo and pre-selects one, two, and three. Segment four is the big daddy, where we have Papisumo and Luigi, who's face is as oily as ever, but I guess we'll live. No singing today, so Goombadam can chill! That is the show for today, and there is only five minutes before it starts!"

Not too long after Irwin stopped talking, a vast majority of the individuals in the room had vacated, leaving a male and female pianta, Papisumo, Mamisuma, three members of the general public, and Luigi trying to get a last bit of relaxation in before the big show. The piantas, who were practicing in another corner of the room, didn't realize that the Luigi that was mentioned by Director Irwin was the real deal and were tying to contain themselves before they ruined their part of the show with their idolization. Before the conversation could get too deep, Irwin flew in from the stage.

"It's go time, everyone!"

The stage was dark outside of the oversized bed that that was illuminated by a spotlight and occupied by Timateo and Tomatina, the male and female piantas. After a smooth, subdued number from the band, the two faced each other and the show officially got started.

"Hey Tomatina, "said Timateo with misplaced youthful excitement.

"What, Timateo?" grunted Tomatina with great displeasure.

"What is this? The fourth time this year that Muraiya has been in danger of being violently torn from the map?"

"Sounds about right, but I'm fine with anything that gets us out of your father's basement."

"I'd rather have that hole in the ground than this one," said Timateo in annoyance.

"I'd rather not be sleeping next to the remains of your father's enemies."

Timateo laughed. "Daddy being the leader of an organized crime syndicate is about as believable as some irrelevant villain dropping a bomb on us."

"I really don't want to talk about this anymore. Just go back to bed," demanded Tomatina.

"You brought it up, and now I must go into excruciating detail as to why you are wrong," started Timateo. "The screams and smells are about as fictitious as Wart leaving Subcon and directing a swarm of rabid shy guys on us. The assassination plots against big business owners that supposedly owe Daddy protection money are as ridiculous as Wario leaving Diamond City and claiming Muraiya Heights for himself. Speaking of money, Daddy earned all of it through legitimate means and thinking otherwise is as ludicrous as thinking that Bowser is going to come out of retirement to toss junk on our heads from his clown car!"

"Shut up, Timateo!" shouted Tomatina.

"No! If you really want to know what the true face of evil is, then listen closely, my dear. It's run by five hundred pounds of pure muscle that looks good, sounds good, smells good, and tells funny jokes. It's co-operated by pure beauty that you could only dream of obtaining. It already has access to tens of thousands, which means that it is too late for us all! The true threat is and will forever remain…"

Don Papisumo, holding a microphone, as always, appeared out of nowhere and immediately had a spotlight on him. He held the microphone to his mouth and said the two words that had given great joy to the people of Muraiya for almost as long as the city has been in existence:

"Gala Grande!"

The band launched into the raucous Latin jazz number that was Gala Grande's theme as lights of all colors bombarded the stage. The bed was hauled away and the transition team performed miracles as Don Papisumo opened the show.

"En vivo from General Evacuation is a special edition of Muraiya's top variety show! Featuring Mas con Mamisuma, another painfully stressful round of Mario or Wario, and a special interview with the real Luigi from Brooklyn New York!"

The stage fully transformed into a representation of Gala Grande's normal set, Don Papisumo and Mamisuma stood beside each other with enormous smiles on their faces.

"I am Don Papisumo, she is the beautiful Mamisuma, and we welcome you Gala Grande!"

The theme song reached an enormous crescendo before crashing to a halt. Don Papisumo then started his opening monologue as the piantas re-entered the green room.

"How did that look on screen, Luigi?" asked the actor that played Timateo.

"Please tell me that the camera wasn't giving everyone a good view of the back of my head. It has happened before," stated the actress that played Tomatina.

"Everything looked good to me. The camera was looking down on you guys until Don Papisumo entered the scene," responded Luigi.

The toad, goomba and koopa that were there to be part of the quiz show had been badmouthing the scene from the second it started. Naturally, they were silent in the face of the actors, who shoved them aside to get closer to Luigi. As the piantas and Luigi conversated with the same vigor of long time friends after years of separation, Gala Grande continued on with the rest of Don Papisumo's monologue, as well as Mamisuma's special interview with a pop star that caused the quiz show participants to become extremely interested. Luigi had no idea who the singer was, but thought that the interview was hilarious and surprisingly crass.

"Mario or Wario is next up in around three minutes. Pre-selects, that's your cue," said a rather tired Director Irwin, whose status was also reflected in a tattered cloud.

The trio extended a cordial farewell to Luigi and exited the green room entirely a moment later.

Mario or Wario, Gala Grande's infamous quiz show, had absolutely no reason to be as entertaining as it was due to the almost insulting simplicity of its premise: Don Papisumo reads a statement, and the participants buzz in and reply either "Mario" for true answers or "Wario" for false answers. That being said, the statements were often so ludicrous that there didn't seem to be correct responses half the time. Don Papisumo's quips were always hilarious during the segment, which resulted in reactions that ranged from going along with the joke to some angry fellow punching the host in the face, which you just don't do to a sumo brother.

After the segment's blistering theme song, Don Papisumo introduced the three participants and immediately changed their names. The goomba was renamed Bald Bull, the koopa was called Little Mac, and the toad had his name changed to Great Tiger, which he was quite happy with. After an explanation of the rules to the small number of individuals that were truly new to the show, Don Papisumo started the game with a statement relating to the rarely sang National Anthem of Dark Land. "Great Tiger" huffed about the other two obviously knowing the right response due to their former affiliation with Bowser's army. "Little Mac" buzzed in, answered wrong and was berated by Don Papisumo. Come to find out, Dark Land's anthem was played exactly once, when Bowser participated in and won a barely attended kart racing tournament.

The segment continued on for a while until "Great Tiger" was eliminated after a deceptive statement about the incredibly elusive Mushroom King. The final round had the two remaining contestants bet their points in what reminded Luigi of the final round on Jeopardy, which he used to watch back in his days in Brooklyn. The final statement related to Don Papisumo's role on the original version of Gala Grande, which was filmed in Diamond City and hosted by a human known as Don Ventura. The participants both bet all of their points and "Bald Bull" won due to what he admitted was a massive guess.

"Well, Luigi, it's almost time for your big reveal," said Director Irwin in a surprisingly somber tone.

"You don't sound too happy about it," said Luigi as he walked towards to exit.

"I was very happy with the apolitical version of today's show that ended with a song and dance competition."

"Could have been fun."

"It was going to be great. Luigi, have you been here long enough to see one of Don Papisumo's serious interviews?"

Luigi shook his head. "None that don't involve false versions of me."

"He's going to blindside you with loaded questions. Don't get yourself or any of us in trouble with your answers," said Irwin.

"I didn't get that vibe earlier," said Luigi.

"He didn't snatch you out of the waiting arms of the mayor just to talk about baseball. That said, you're up."

"We've forced you through a small army of imposters and I am extremely happy to say that it ends today solely because the man was incredibly late," said Don Papisumo to the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Luigi, from Brooklyn, New York!"

Instead of any song that made sense, the band launched into a rendition of "Do the Mario," which his brother threw together during an incredibly drunken evening. Luigi, shaking his head at the music choice, walked out on stage and was finally able to look at the gargantuan space that was General Evacuation as the huge crowd predictably exploded at his presence. What was assumed to be a large hole in the ground with all the trappings of a bomb shelter ended up being a representation of the city that it was positioned under. Before Luigi could get lost in his surroundings, Don Papisumo shook his hand and guided him over to two sofa's that faced each other. As Luigi took his seat, he noticed that Mamisuma, looking at elegant as ever, was standing on the far edge of the stage. Right as the rather embarrassing song ended, Don Papisumo sat down on his designated sofa and the interview began.

"Good afternoon, amigo," greeted Don Papisumo with a smile.

"Good afternoon. This place is quite impressive," said Luigi

"That it is, but we're not here to talk about General Evacuation," said Don Papisumo, already starting to change his tone.

"No problem," stated Luigi.

"When did you arrive here in Muraiya?" asked Don Papisumo.

"I think it has been a little over a month, now," replied Luigi.

"Would you say that the month you have spent in Muraiya has been enough to be fully versed in local politics?"

"No, and thankfully, I am not a politician," said Luigi, looking towards the audience, which was still very much with him.

"Yet you are here due to shifts in the local political climate," retorted Don Papisumo.

"Seems so. I had to dig for that information myself."

"When did that digging take place?"

"Not that long ago."

"You are trying to tell me that you were here for weeks at the behest of the mayor for reasons unknown to you?"

"Exactly."

"Ooo. Free money," commented Mamisuma from her corner of the stage.

A nice percentage of the crowd laughed at Mamisuma's quip.

"Life is good when you are unfathomably famous," said Don Papisumo with a twinge of disdain."

"Since you are already informed of my truckloads of free money, then you might have known that my arrival didn't exactly come after months of deliberation," said Luigi.

"You were brought here."

"Sure, if that is the word that you want to use."

"To sum it all up, you are an elite individual from abroad that has been chosen to make an impact on our city while in a state of complete and utter ignorance," stated Don Papisumo.

"I'm not exactly hiding the fact that I'm winging everything I do," responded Luigi

"Then why are you doing it at all? Why didn't you just excuse yourself from the situation the moment you realized just how unqualified you were?"

"Turns out, being qualified isn't a necessity for what I am doing."

"You work at the municipal complex, for crying out loud!" shouted Don Papisumo, seemingly annoyed with Luigi's response. "That position that you are occupying could easily be given to an unemployed citizen."

"It wasn't my intention to strip anyone of their job," said Luigi.

"But you have. Tell me about the situation with Goomkino."

Luigi reeled in his chair and sighed loudly. He really didn't want to answer that question.

"There was a misunderstanding. Things happened. Things got reversed," said Luigi.

"Who are you to change anything?" asked Don Papisumo.

"I did what I thought was right."

"Tell me about Pico, the mouser,' commanded Don Papisumo.

"I'd rather not."

"He attacked you, and now you are walking with a cane. Why?" asked an obstinate Don Papisumo.

"There is no benefit to getting into any more detail about that."

"I'm not here to look out for what benefits you. I'm out to expose the truth."

The crowd did not appreciate Don Papisumo's attitude and jeered him accordingly. Luigi allowed the audience to calm down before continuing.

"I refuse to dwell on that altercation, Don Papisumo. It doesn't help anyone to know the specifics. Just know that I appreciate the help of the people of Southernmost Muraiya in making sure I didn't meet an unfortunate end out there."

"And that was a situation that you wouldn't have been in if you stayed out of a realm in which you did not belong," stated Don Papisumo.

"Okay, if it is such a globally held opinion that I shouldn't be here, then allow me to leave the stage and go home."

The crowd reacted so negatively towards that response that Luigi had to make a reassuring joke to make things better again.

"Moving on," continued Don Papisumo, "as a representative of Mayor Persimmon, tell me why voting for independence is better than the other option, and how it positively affects the population.

"I am not here to tell anyone how to vote, Don Papisumo. If one feels good with how things are run from both Muraiya Heights and the Municipal Complex, then they should feel free to vote for independence. If one feels as if Muraiya is on the brink of collapse without aid, and would rather Sarasaland be that support, then there is nothing wrong about voting against independence,"

Don Papisumo smiled widely at Luigi, who wasn't exactly comforted by what he was seeing.

"That was an incredibly inoffensive statement and I realize why you made it. The truth is that you come out ahead regardless of how the citizens vote in the referendum. If independence wins, then you'll remain sitting pretty in your loft counting money until it hits the ceiling. If Sarasaland is given the keys to the castle, so to speak, then you'll be sitting pretty beside Daisy, whom you have no issues with."

The interview continued on with lighter questions relating to Luigi's time on Earth, and a few about warp pipe maintenance. It was only when Don Papisumo completely ran out of questions did the segment end and Luigi made his way back to the green room. Surprisingly, there wasn't anyone around but Director Irwin, a goomba guard, and a few individuals from the next program changing the room to meet their specifications.

"That was way worse than I thought it was going to be, but I think you made it through without stepping on any of the obvious landmines that he slid in your direction," said Irwin.

"I appreciate the advance warning of all that," said Luigi, focusing more on the guard that was looking right at him. "I see we have a guest."

The goomba stepped forward and smiled. "Don't get too frightened. All is as well as it is going to be given the situation."

"Good. I've been having bad luck as of late," said Luigi, motioning towards his cane.

"Well, I heard that you and the mayor have been getting along, so I'll say that what's coming up next is a little better than traumatic injury," said the still nameless goomba.

"Where are we going?" asked Luigi.

"to the observation platform."

After around ten minutes of travel back through the corridors behind General Evacuation, Luigi and his new acquaintance reached the elevator and walked into the car.

"We meet again, Big Green," said the disembodied voice that spoke to Luigi the last time that he was there.

"Lift, this is Porter. Are the Eyes at their posts?" asked the goomba after getting Luigi to press the talk button for him.

"Affirmative," said the voice.

"Good. We will see you in three minutes."

Luigi was confused about the whole thing, but kept quiet about it.

Upon walking into the observation platform, Luigi was thoroughly distracted by the vista offered by the windows that surrounded the large, enclosed structure, as well as the colorful displays of monitors and their adjacent machinery. At every station there was a guard keeping a close eye on both the screen and the window in front of them, with Gaspar and his perpetually ill-fitting cloak on the west side of the platform. The vibe was far tenser than the disembodied voice in the elevator made it out to be.

"This is one of four observation platforms in Muraiya," said the goomba referred to as Porter. "The others are on the northern, southern, and eastern extremes of the city. Each platform consists of what we call the bridge, which is where we are currently standing, and the lower deck, which is where we are going."

"Where is our friend from the elevator?" asked Luigi.

"Lift works out of a separate room. Don't worry about him."

Porter led Luigi through the bridge towards a narrow set of stairs that weren't at all visible from the entrance. The two descended into the lower deck, which was more of an enclosed patio that wrapped around the bottom of the observation platform. The number of monitors and contraptions around was minimal. The number of individuals in the area seemed to be non-existent until Luigi caught wind of a pair of heavy footsteps coming from around the corner. After a short moment, the origin of the footsteps presented herself.

"Good evening, Luigi, Porter." said Mayor Persimmon, who looked as if sleep hadn't been an option for the last week.

They told me that you were in a hole somewhere out of town," said Luigi with a slightly nervous smile.

Persimmon looked at Porter. "First of all, you may leave."

Porter scurried off without a single second of protest.

"Second, you are very correct, Luigi. I indeed was in Elite Evacuation for a lengthy amount of time with the expectation of having you by my side as events played themselves out."

"I apologize for any issue my tardiness and surprise interview might have caused," said Luigi with a slight bow supported by his cane.

"There is no issue, as pledges to our cause have increased significantly since Don Papisumo tried in vain to narrate your public execution. Come with me."

Mayor Persimmon guided Luigi to the other side of the lower deck, which provided an unobstructed view of the horizon to the north of Muraiya. With no bright, multicolored displays to distract him, Luigi immediately noticed a rather unique looking vessel in the distance.

"I am sure that you have some form of familiarity with the aircraft we are both looking at," stated Persimmon.

"That is Bowser's Doomship," replied Luigi, not exactly intimidated by the flying boat that he had stowed away on numerous times in the past.

"It flew directly over Muraiya during your segment of Gala Grande."

"Didn't seem like he found much reason to stick around," said Luigi, only halfway looking at the ship at that point.

"Which is exactly why there was such an investment in the protective cloak. It sounds ridiculous, but it works," said the mayor. "Some say that there are far too many evacuations each year, but they happen out of my desire to keep the city safe. I am not sure what would happen to our most precious safety net if we lost our independence, but I know what will happen if we remain true to ourselves.…And cut."

"The clip has been saved and currently is in the editing process," said Lift from wherever he was seated in the structure.

"You are going to have to explain this one, mayor," said Luigi.

"I just put a neat bow on my newest campaign recording" responded Persimmon.

"You turned us reacting to the Doomship into a political ad?"

"All is fair in love and war, Luigi. If I don't win next week's election, then I will, more than likely, lose my home. This might be more on the nose than what I have done in the past, but this is what I have to do in order to survive."

…

"I know my eyes aren't what they were in the past, but there is something strange about the land down there."

"Last time I checked, it's called plate tectonics.

"Bad jokes aren't going to help you find your brother, Mario."

"Yeah, but it's all I got at this point."

"Anyway, are you positive you can't see how warped and faded the ground is in that very large patch?"

"Yep."

"Well, I guess I'm seeing things. Back to the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"Let's go."

 **Author's Note: Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and a happy new year to all of you with even a passing interest in my work. Chapter Nine is already in development, as well as a Wario-related project that I'm not going to spill the beans about yet. Catch you guys down the road!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Henrietta Mafalda Perez had been at the forefront or the focal point of so many political upheavals that she had forgotten the very meaning of "relaxation." As a youth, she regularly led walk-outs against an administration of what she considered "crooked educators more interested in their tenures than the future of their students." Henrietta was a staple of detention, but never felt that she was doing the wrong thing even when her parents worried openly about the college prospects of one so against the educational system. Upon reaching voting age, Henrietta was almost belligerently against the ruling political party. She spent large chunks of the year in holding cells up until the point when the military took over the national government and tasked Henrietta with being one of their lead informants. She was not at all proud of her actions, but they were what had to be done to keep her family safe.

When the tables were turned on the revolutionary administration, individuals of all ranks were hauled off to trials that concluded with life sentences at the very least. Henrietta went into hiding, but the spacious basement of her aunt was not deep enough to evade justice. Henrietta's captors offered her a punishment far more lenient than she deserved if she testified against her superiors. Her testimony led twenty people to death row, and she was allowed to freely walk the streets of a nation that hated her. When angry citizens torched the home in which she resided, Henrietta sought temporary refuge in a drainage tunnel among the homeless and other politically persecuted individuals. She decided to cut her time in the tunnel short when the only person that was even halfway accepting of her was one that was a little too interested in how human flesh stood up to his collection of knives. Henrietta then became hopelessly lost in what ended up being a rather vast drainage system until she spotted daylight peeking in from what she assumed was the exit. Naturally, she followed the light, left the tunnel and set foot into a strange land of giant mushrooms and hills that were seemingly looking back at her. Before Henrietta could weigh the pros and cons of pushing forward, she looked back and noticed that her entrance to the strange land was a wide, green pipe that was in the final stages of fading out of existence.

Henrietta's first day in the mushroom world was an unmitigated disaster in which her life was continually flashing before her eyes. Right as it seemed that she was destined to be killed by a vicious potted plant, Henrietta was saved by a female toad and taken to a small house near a placid lake. The toad was known as Mama Persimmon and chose to live out in the middle of nowhere after around forty years in a large, raucous city. Mama Persimmon, after hearing Henrietta's story, promptly gave her a primer on the mushroom world. The first lesson ended with the somewhat embarrassing revelation that the potted plant just outside of Mama Persimmon's house was hers, fairly docile, and only snapping because it was close to feeding time.

The motherly toad genuinely enjoyed Henrietta's company, which caused the toad to downplay the city to the east and its large population of displaced humans. Henrietta was convinced that the only earthlings that existed on the planet were herself and the Mario brothers from the United States until she answered a knock on the door and nearly tumbled to the ground in shock.

"Whoa there! Greetings. Are you the owner of this property?" asked a well-dressed man who looked like he had something to sell.

"Goodness me! Are you okay?" asked the concerned stranger.

"Yes," responded Henrietta, who wanted to unleash a barrage of questions on the man.

"Is that right?" asked the man, surveying Henrietta for far longer than he should have been.

The awkward staring was interrupted by Mama Persimmon, who seemed agitated.

"We have no interest in what you are selling," said Mama Persimmon, putting her foot down.

The man shook his head. "To tell the truth, I'm not here to sell anything. I assume that you're the owner of this property?"

"Yes," responded Mama Persimmon.

"Are you familiar with Feather Ordinance 5757?" asked the man, pulling a clipboard out of his bag.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," responded Mama Persimmon.

"The District of Feather has decided, without the will of the voters, to descend upon the undeveloped land to its west. By that I mean, roughly, where we are standing. What I have here is a petition with the names of every landowner on the outskirts of Feather except you. Add your name. Join our cause. Keep outer Feather unspoiled."

The petition was eventually signed, but that did nothing to alleviate the feeling of dread that crept up in Henrietta's stomach during the conversation. Along with the fear came an interest Diamond City which wasn't just nearby, but a location in which she was in at the time. Mama Persimmon, against her better judgement, started detailing Diamond City and its many districts. The result was an increased desire by Henrietta to leave the residence. She got her chance when the petition failed to influence anyone in power, throwing Mama Persimmon off of her property and into a small apartment in the heart of the Feather District.

With no realistic way to separate her adopted daughter from the reality of humanity in the mushroom world, Mama Persimmon allowed Henrietta to get to know Diamond City on her own terms. Even with the expansion, the Feather District was suburban to the point of boring Henrietta. She attempted to join a few social circles, but she had no desire to sit around one of the numerous parks drinking beer with those her age, or playing chess with the elderly. Upon finally giving up on the sleepy hamlet, Henrietta took a day trip to the infamous Coin District and quickly discovered what she needed at that point of her life.

Coin was a shady place of illicit dealings that were rarely monitored by a weak local government. It was also the location of the Diamond City Community College, which was looked down upon from a great height by Diamond City Academy of the Star District. The moment Henrietta set foot on campus, she was almost trampled by a group of students that were rallying against a teacher. Happy to be among her politically minded people again, Henrietta decided to confront one of the students at the end of the protest.

"Greetings, sister," said Henrietta as the young woman was putting her collection of signs into an oversized bag.

The student looked back at Henrietta for a moment before returning to her packing.

"Excuse me, ma'am," said Henrietta after loudly clearing her throat for the sake of getting attention.

"I heard you the first time. What do you want?" spat the student without looking back at Henrietta.

Knowing that her chance to make an impact was fading away, Henrietta took a deep breath and laid it all out.

"I am new both to this word and this city. I was drawn to this protest due to how much it reminded me of life back in my homeland. In addition to that, I am quite the lonely person at this point in time, and my assumption is that I am on the cusp of being part of a group of likeminded peers."

The young woman looked into Henrietta's eyes. "You're new here?"

"Yes."

"Where do you come from?"

Henrietta named her homeland, and the student's face immediately went pale.

"What is your name?" asked the student with a quivering voice.

"Henrietta Persimmon," said Henrietta as if her true last name was no longer important.

"My name is Gabriella Marcos and it would be an honor to pick your brain over a strong cup of coffee."

Henrietta followed Gabriella to a nearby coffee shop in which there was a small number of individuals that were involved with the protest. After requesting one of the private rooms in the back of the building, Gabriella bought two coffees and enough cream and sugar to turn an entire pot into sweetened milk. The two entered the private room, which consisted of a table and enough seats for eight people, and started their conversation.

"How long have you been here, Persimmon?" asked Gabriella.

"I assume it has been a few months," responded Henrietta.

"I entered this world around two years ago with the initial wave of the condemned," said Gabriella after taking a sip of her cup of coffee flavored cream.

"You escaped execution?" asked Henrietta.

Gabriella shook her head. "Our executioner was beyond drunk. And dumped us in the sewer before putting a bullet in our heads."

Henrietta remained silent.

"What's your story, Persimmon? How did you survive the Revolution?"

"Gabriella. The Revolution is no more."

Gabriella burst into tears and started wailing. Henrietta didn't have the heart to say that they weren't just on opposite sides of the conflict back home.

"Wait," said the sobbing Gabriella. "How did you get here if there is nothing left to run from?"

"I survived the Revolution only to get thrown out of my apartment due to an inability to pay rent," lied Henrietta. "I then called a drainage tunnel my home until I literally walked out into this strange world."

Gabriella could focus so little on what Henrietta was saying that she excused herself for nearly half an hour. She returned with a smile on her face and another cream filled cup in her hand.

"Henrietta, there are a lot of happy people out here that want to hear from you."

While looking at the smiling faces of those she possibly sent to death, Henrietta brewed a concoction of lies, half-truths and obfuscation. The feast ended after an hour with the outright fiction that was Henrietta leading an angry mob to the home of a former informant. Gabriella and the others cheered loudly as Henrietta detailed each member of the mob taking their aggression out on the informant until there was nothing left but a broken, featureless lump. Henrietta knew that such grand-scale lying was wrong and couldn't hold up to a minute of questioning by those in the know, but it is what she had to do to get ahead.

About a month after she rebranded herself as a minor counterrevolutionary hero, Henrietta moved out of Mama Persimmon's apartment without much conflict and moved into Gabriella's surprisingly large home. When Gabriella wasn't attending class, she was taking Henrietta out to fancy restaurants, and following it up with front row seats at incredibly expensive shows. As Gabriella had no job to speak of, Henrietta wondered where all the money was coming from. Gabriella laughed heartily when asked about her apparent fortune.

"Persimmon, I didn't have anyone to scoop me up when I fell into this world. Until I found the other survivors, I was sleeping in the train station and using whatever coins I collected to buy chips from the vending machine. Even with them, money was still an issue before the chance meeting I had with my current boss."

"With all of our excursions, I had assumed that you did not work," stated Henrietta.

"Of course, I do," said Gabriella. "I just don't go on about it."

"Okay, what is it that you do?"

"I work as a representative for Club Mermaid. Easy work, really. I go to nearby bars, find guys and sometimes girls who want to have fun, then take them over to the club for an afterparty they'll never forget," responded Gabriella.

"Is that it?" asked Henrietta.

"Yup. I can have you trained and picking up clients in two hours."

"While I have reservations about what you just said, the fact remains that my savings are withering away. I would appreciate it if you got my foot in the door somewhere," said Henrietta.

"That was always the plan."

"Really, now?" said Henrietta, somewhat taken aback by that statement.

"I've been talking about you with my boss. He says that there are many opportunities for you here in the city, but wants to speak to you personally about them," said Gabriella.

"And when is that going to happen?"

"Any time that you are available."

The next evening, Henrietta was taken to Tragaperras Way, a place of drinking, gambling and other activities that Mama Persimmon would have not approved of. After entering a pachinko parlor and walking down a long flight of stairs, Gabriella introduced Henrietta to the large, frog-like being that was her boss. Gabriella then excused herself and what followed was a few moments of silence as the two surveyed each other.

"I've had half this place's population piss themselves in my presence," said the creature.

"I assure you that is not what gets me going," responded Henrietta.

The creature let out a loud, croaking laugh. "Okay, I like you. Tell me what you heard about me. I'll do you a favor and tell you if any of it is true."

"I don't know anything about you," responded Henrietta.

"Good. Most of what's out there is horse dung."

"What has Gabriella said about me?"

The creature smiled. "Nothing true."

Henrietta was immediately shaken to the core, but tried to keep it together.

"Don't turn to spaghetti on me, girl. The way you throw around that false identity is all of the reason that you are talking to me right now."

"I need specific details as to how many people know who I truly am," pleaded Henrietta.

"Those who know will not be a problem unless you let it," replied the creature. "That being said, let me tell you a little about myself."

Henrietta nodded.

"I was born in Subcon, land of dreams or whatever, and given the name Mamu. I then tried to outright take the place over, but was beaten by a foreigner who exploited my vegetable allergy."

"Who was that foreigner?"

"Mario. Completely irrelevant here, but is a major thing over in the Mushroom Kingdom. He called me "Wart _" once_ and I haven't been able to shake it since."

After a long, productive conversation, the elusive Wart pulled all kinds of strings and got Henrietta into the world of Diamond City politics through a job assisting Paul Lovelace, Coin District's mayor at the time. On paper, her job duties included thrilling activities such as answering phones and delivering coffee. In reality, Henrietta was attending meetings and making executive level decisions for a perpetually drunk man who couldn't care less about the position. When it became evident that Henrietta was working as mayor as opposed to working for him, she was jokingly given the title Mayor Persimmon by the other officials. She laughed with the others until high rank individuals started asking to speak to her exclusively.

In a move not exactly unprecedented in Coin District, the city council impeached Paul Lovelace and replaced him not with the deputy mayor, but his former aide. Mayor Persimmon. surrounded by a wealth of individuals who all wanted to put their mark on Coin without subjecting themselves to the rigors of being the district's leader, rode out the rest of Lovelace's term with a fairly decent approval rating. It had been a little over two years since Persimmon was quickly moved out of Gabriella's home and into her own apartment near the mayor's office. She had not seen or heard any news of her old friends and could only hope that her strange rise to power benefitted them in some small way.

Persimmon's second term started with the elimination of almost every advisor that had ever hovered over her shoulder. She was absolutely sick of them and felt that if they wanted her position so bad, then they should have done so through the proper channels. The only survivor of the purge was a councilman by the name of Reece, whose home Persimmon retreated to as her own was subject to items of increasing lethality being thrown through the windows. After an assassination attempt that involved a nice chunk of city hall being blown to fiery bits, Persimmon abandoned Coin District as a whole, and retreated back to Feather. Ironically, she found a nice place to live in the new development that her adopted mother tried to save via petition. As Persimmon was failing to get accustomed to a more subdued life, she was visited by a large, familiar creature in a trench coat standing next to former Councilman Reece. What followed was the first in a series of completely unbelievable events that ended with Persimmon ruling over the distant settlement of Muraiya.

In the week leading up to the referendum, Persimmon tasked Luigi with writing short speeches that stressed the importance of voting. The speeches were delivered in swing counties that Persimmon believed she could change to the side of independence with the proper prodding. Persimmon preceded Luigi in each location and was reminded that the citizens in the shadow of Muraiya Heights were completely uninterested in what she had to say. The closer it got to the day of the referendum, the more frustrated Persimmon became with the entire situation. On Saturday, just two days before the referendum, Luigi delivered one of his weakest speeches in regards to independence. The result was Persimmon Loudly scolding the man and getting jeered out of the venue for it. Persimmon later apologized to Luigi, who didn't seem to have any hard feelings over the outburst. Feeling that what happened was the beginning of the end, Persimmon cancelled the almost eighteen hours of activities that were scheduled for Sunday. There was simply no point.

The morning of the referendum, Mayor Persimmon rose out of bed and stared at the bathroom mirror for a few minutes. What looked back was an absolutely haggard individual who had not taken care of herself in any capacity for a decade. With no desire to brief herself on anything relating to politics, she set out towards the always open spa that was close to her Muraiya Heights dwelling.

"Mayor Persimmon?" asked the young woman behind the counter with a voice full of concern.

"In the ragged flesh," responded Persimmon after a sigh.

"I assume you are here to look presentable before your victory speech?"

Persimmon forced a smile. "I have not even begun writing a speech. If a miracle takes place, then I will ad-lib to the best of my abilities. But enough about that, I am here to be pampered, not browbeaten."

After discussing what she wanted to have done, Persimmon vanished into the depths of the spa and ignored the world around her for the majority of the day. Upon rejoining reality feeling like the most spoiled member of royalty in the strange world that she happened to be in, the activist turned informant turned executive aide turned mayor was informed of just how much of a failure her grand scheme had been.

Convinced that the Luigi gamble was going to lead to the largest of political payouts, Councilman Reece and the officials at the municipal complex threw a viewing party in which they installed a trio of gargantuan televisions in the foyer and connected them to the mother of all sound systems. Food and soft drink stations hammered home the festive nature of the event, which quickly turned into debauchery with the introduction of hard liquor by more than half the men in attendance. Luigi, was wary of the results and warned against such early celebration, but not a single person there was listening.

"What you need to do, big man, is get some shots into your system," said a slurring official with a comically large cup in his hand. "Maybe it'll loosen that stick that you have up your rear end!"

"Down another for me, okay?" responded Luigi with a forced smile.

"Ugh! The hell are you even here if you're just going to kill the vibe?" asked the official before joining his peers.

The closing of the polls caused the revelers to down another round of shots as Luigi got increasingly uncomfortable with the whole thing. When the early results for Muraiya Heights came in, the officers burst into loud cheers due to the large number of voters who wanted Muraiya to stay independent. Handshakes, back slaps and hugs abounded before the officers crowded around Luigi, the linchpin of their political existences and stared at the screen. Already knowing what was going to eventually happen, Luigi attempted to look around for the quickest escape route, but found nothing but humanity.

Intense jeering followed the results from west Muraiya, which went entirely for Sarasaland rule. It took no time at all before the assortment of colorful slurs people had for the mushroom world's original inhabitants to be thrown about. The mood returned to a more jovial state for a moment before the results from the north were posted and resembled that from the west. As the anger ebbed and flowed, Luigi took that time to lie.

"Gentlemen, I'm going to hit the bathroom, scamper up to my office and then come back with a little something that is going to light this party on fire when the vote turns our way."

"Wait. Luigi," commanded Councilman Reece, who had been in his office with a phone to his ear for almost the entirety of the viewing party. "Are you absolutely certain that we'll come out on top tonight?"

"I wouldn't buy thousand-coin wine for no reason," lied Luigi.

The men were overjoyed by Luigi's comment and went right back into celebration mode. Luigi then inched through the crowd, used the restroom down the hall, and snuck out of the back door.

Not too far away from the municipal complex was the well-lit epicenter of the referendum's news coverage, with a large stage supporting a colorful panel of reporters and correspondents. Floating slightly above the seat in the middle of the stage was a boo that used his experience and lack of a need breathe to speak in interminable sentences. To the boo's left was a female toad that talked over the dead being when she wanted to get a word in. A koopa, a goomba, a shy guy, and a human rounded out the team, which had was being listened to by thousands of individuals in the street. There was such a vast number of citizens in the area that Luigi made it a full four minutes out in the open before he was spotted.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I ask that you bear with me as I put the breaks on the proceedings to highlight the fact that Luigi has just exited the municipal complex," announced the hawk-eyed boo from the stage.

Luigi smiled, waved, and attempted to move on before running right into a large koopa that was part of the production crew. With few words, the koopa slapped a headset on Luigi and parted the adoring masses to get the new panelist to his hastily created spot on the side of the stage. The panel, absolutely thrilled to have Luigi with them, fired an assortment of questions in his direction during a lull in the vote results. Upon the realization that Luigi, who had been an arm's length from Mayor Persimmon for nearly an entire week, had lost contact with her for the past two days, the assumptions were thrown about at will.

"What I don't understand is why we expecting anything else from the woman who left Diamond City's Coin District high and dry those years ago," said the irritated human seated beside Luigi.

The panel started to angrily bicker with each other over the personal and political failings of Mayor Persimmon. While Luigi wasn't particularly fond of the conversation, he didn't have all that much to say in favor of the elected official responsible for his kidnapping. Just as Luigi was being called out for his silence, the crowd erupted upon seeing the final results of the referendum vote, which had over eighty-five percent of the people in favor of Sarasaland rule.

As the celebration continued in the street, the conversation turned to the concession speech of Mayor Persimmon. They tried to pick Luigi's mind on the subject, but couldn't get anything out of him due to how silent the possibly powerless mayor was on the topic. When the door to the municipal complex swung open, the panel assumed that a hiding Persimmon would emerge. What they got was a set of angry human officials shoving citizens over on their way to, presumably, their homes. Of the group, the only one to turn towards the panel was the man Luigi remembered as Councilman Reece. He stole the goomba's headset, punted the poor creature off the stage and proceeded to stare daggers at Luigi.

"Councilman Reece," started the boo. "Questions must be asked on the whereabouts of- "

"Shut your mouth!" shouted Reece. The only reason that I'm even in the presence of this green pile of watery excrement is to give a message to the people of Muraiya Heights! This spineless worm never had a desire to support our cause! From the moment he got here he palled around with the masks, the turtles, and the mushrooms without batting an eyelash in our direction! He gets blown to hell by literally a plague-ridden rat and what does he do? Leads the most half-hearted, half-assed voting campaign I have ever seen in my life. Months of planning for this garbage! Months! After independence was locked, Muraiya was going to transition into the human stronghold that Diamond City should have been, and it was going to do it with the support of the local inhabitants had you been worth a damn, Luigi. Now? Now all you are worth is my fist crashing into your face!"

As the panel devolved into open warfare, Persimmon was told to return to her office by one of the strange figures that had appeared in Muraiya Heights after the results of the vote were finalized. Upon entering the office, she wasn't entirely surprised to see another woman sitting at her desk. The interloper wore traditional Chinese clothing that was vintage to the point of being historic.

"Henrietta Mafalda Perez-Persimmon," said the woman without looking up from a stack of papers that Persimmon remembered as her own. "Greetings."

"Deepest apologies for keeping you waiting," responded Persimmon.

"How was the spa treatment?"

"Rejuvenating. How are you enjoying my surveillance system?" asked Persimmon.

"Disabled it upon entry," said the woman, still not looking up at Persimmon. "Personal privacy is a serious matter."

"So be it."

"The streets are rife with disorder."

"I have no idea who you are."

"Lin of Chai Kingdom, Sarasaland."

"Will there be a point of the conversation when you make eye contact with me, Miss Lin?" asked Persimmon, annoyed.

With a grunt, Lin looked up. "Tell me your concession plans."

"I have a prepared statement," said Persimmon.

"Give it to me."

Persimmon surrendered an index card to Lin, who looked at it and set it aside."

"I will feed it to the press. You are to go home and await further instructions," said Lin.

"Where do I stand in the grand scheme of Sarasaland rule of Muraiya?" asked Persimmon.

"If you stand by that vase over there, you will see a box filled with trash that I do not need. Sift through it and keep what you want."

Persimmon walked over to the box. It was truly a crate full of garbage outside of a single framed portrait of her adopted mother that she retrieved.

"Have you finished?" asked Lin.

"Yes", replied Persimmon.

"Then leave."

Persimmon stood her ground. "What is my place in the city in its current political state?"

Lin's irritation increased exponentially. "You have instructions. I will not repeat myself."

Persimmon started losing her temper. "I will speak directly to Queen Daisy when she arrives. Not a soul else."

"The queen will not speak to you under any circumstances," stated Lin with authority.

"I am the former mayor of this city. She is obligated to speak to me," responded Persimmon.

"Henrietta, the queen will want nothing but your head on a pike when she discovers the ordeal you forced upon Master Luigi. You either return home to discuss relocation, or face death in a week's time. Allow us to do our job, as we do not wish to oversee the death of a powerful woman."

Former Mayor Persimmon returned to her dwelling and was promptly joined by the newly appointed housing minister and a number of other representatives from Sarasaland. The meeting was far more positive than it had any business being, with the members of the group sharing stories from their respective childhoods. After an hour of chatter, the individuals from Sarasaland put a number of offers on the proverbial table. Persimmon accepted one, shook the hand of every individual there and was never seen in Muraiya again. Little did the newly crowned officials know how much of a fiasco they were getting themselves into by allowing Persimmon to escape the repercussions of her actions yet again.

 **Authors Note: I started this chapter a few days after I posted Chapter 8. It took three months and three almost complete chapter rewrites before I was happy with the content. Besides being the beginning of the end of Luigi's Fabulously Fractured Fable, this chapter serves as a brief introduction to my version of Diamond City, the setting of the Wario Ware games, as well as my upcoming Wario-centered story. Thanks for holding tight. Only two chapters to go!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Not too long after the adventure that saw the Mario brothers join Peach and a lowly toad assistant in their only trip to Subcon, the Mushroom Kingdom was given word of a curious predicament going on in the far east Kingdom of Sarasaland. Daisy, the kingdom's princess, had vanished and all attempts at communication with other local leaders were met with strange, incomprehensible responses. After a last round of gibberish from abroad, Princess Peach responded by sending Mario and Luigi in a crude biplane that stalled in midair so frequently that it would have made more sense calling it a glider.

After a rough landing in the dreadfully hot Pyrapt Kingdom, Sarasaland, the Mario brothers launched into a rather boring investigation of the small town of Marhaba that never made it into the public record of the situation. The strange gibberish seen in written form was spoken by everyone the brothers encountered except for a man named Sharif that quickly introduced himself and led the two to his home. Come to find out, the individual was a slacker trying to avoid work during the important festival when everything changed. Upon waking up, Sharif noticed that nearly everyone around him was in a strange haze, speaking in a nonsensical language, and inexplicably getting violent. After his own investigation, he found out that he was one in a small network of those not under the influence of what happened the fateful day when a spaceship supposedly came down from the sky and bathed the entirety of Sarasaland in colorful beams of light.

Luigi brought up Princess Daisy and Sharif rolled his eyes. He didn't care much for the princess and was not happy with the reality of such an "undignified girl" eventually leading the country. He had heard that Daisy was imprisoned on the aforementioned mystery ship but didn't know much else due to the royal family ruling out of Chai Kingdom, and it being a lengthy trip east. Mario, deciding that he had heard enough, tried to get Luigi to run off with him into the brutal desert heat to start his heroes crusade. After a small argument in which Luigi made clear his desire to get more information before acting, Mario relented, returned to the plane, and flew east by himself.

As Mario was off saving the proverbial day, Luigi stuck close to Sharif and the two made their own voyage to Birabuto, the northernmost town in Pyrapt Kingdom and home to the great majority of individuals unaffected by the turn of events in the rest of Sarasaland. Armed with somewhat exaggerated stories of his past exploits, Luigi forged new friendships with the locals, including a chef for Chai Castle that avoided being one of the brainless masses due to the warp pipe back home being out of service. Luigi was bothered more by the broken warp than anything else and had to resist the urge to grab his tool bag and desperately try to fix things. When asked about the state of the royal family, the chef, much like Sharif before him, had absolutely nothing good to say about the princess and felt that it would for the best for her to disappear into the depths of space with her kidnapper.

"This is not the first time that I have heard such a strong opinion against Princess Daisy," said Luigi after the chef's statement.

"And it won't be the last. Look, the king has four sons and all of them are more than qualified to reign as king when tragedy decides that it wants to strike," responded the chef in an accent that differed from the one everyone shared in Pyrapt Kingdom.

"I assume they are younger than Daisy," said Luigi.

"They are much older, but they have all fallen out of favor with the king despite the fact that Daisy spends her every waking hour trying to sabotage her rise to the throne!"

"What, exactly, does she do?" asked Luigi.

"She has no respect for herself, or her title as princess," responded the chef.

"Which means?"

"She is disgusting!"

Not convinced in the slightest of Daisy's offences, Luigi continued tossing questions at anyone wiling to give him answers. After a day and a half, his investigation was halted entirely by the reversal of fortune of the zombified masses of Sarasaland. One particular individual sprinted to Luigi and gave him a massive hug. His name was Ansh, and his lack of free will had taken him from Birabuto to Marhaba. There, Ansh attacked Mario and, right as the hero was going to stomp him out, Luigi got involved. Ansh and the many who shared his affliction all detailed how terrifying it was to be in full control of your senses yet be controlled like a puppet by an unknown entity.

Luigi and Sharif returned to Marhaba and the once eerie streets were bustling with activity. During a fruitful conversation in a bar's outdoor patio, a goomba sporting regal-looking clothing and an ornate messenger bag cut the chat short.

"You are Luigi, yes?" asked the goomba.

"Indeed," replied Luigi.

"I have an official message from the King of Sarasaland. Open it quickly, as it is very time sensitive"

Luigi did as he was instructed and was confused by the whole thing. According to the message, his brother had long left Sarasaland to tend to his rarely mentioned castle in the Mushroom Kingdom and that the King of Sarasaland wanted Luigi to join the guard for a week as a deterrent to any other malicious entities. Luigi was about a minute away from not believing any of it when a large covered wagon hauled by animals that resembled oxen stopped in front of the bar. The woman at the reigns tipped her hat and smiled, and Luigi started the day long trip to Chai Kingdom, Sarasaland. Thankfully, the wagon's interior was the epitome of comfort.

After a hilarious bout of miscommunication that nearly resulted in Luigi being cast out of Sarasaland entirely, the still confused man of the moment entered Chai Castle and was directed to immediately speak with the king. As the place was a horrible mess from a design standpoint, Luigi had to be guided to the door of the throne room, where he faced a final inspection before he was let in to see the short, jovial man who ran the kingdom.

"Greetings, dearest Luigi. I trust that the voyage here was pleasant?" asked the king.

"Incredibly so, your majesty," replied Luigi, with a short bow. "For what reason am I needed?"

"While the threat from above might be no more, the fact remains that the vast majority of the Chai Royal Guard was affected in one way or another. Those who were not hypnotized were fighting against those that were and what you must understand, Luigi, was that the afflicted soldiers were much more dangerous than the common folk who were muttering and shambling about. Well, this is what I was told, as I too was hypnotized."

"I assume you were taken to a safe place within the castle during your hypnosis," said Luigi.

The king shook his head. "Actually, I wandered off into the dungeon where I somehow managed to free the career criminals and traitors from their cells. Moments later, the lot of them returned and kept me from being a danger to myself until your brother broke the spell."

"What happened to the criminals?"

"Pardoned with great speed. The lot of them make up the guards you passed by on the way to the throne room," said the king, proud of his actions.

"The Chai Royal Guard is in that bad a state?" asked Luigi.

"Yes. Most are in no condition to stand, much less stand guard," stated the king.

"Which brings me here to fill the gaps," said Luigi.

"Yes. Your brother sang your praises, and I am not one to argue with the savior of our land. With that recommendation, I entrust you with one of the most important duties in the kingdom: the protection of my daughter."

"What am I to do and where must I do it?" asked Luigi.

"My daughter's quarters are right up those stairs there. Start with Introducing yourself to her and realize that while she wasn't muttering incoherently and shambling about, she had her own interstellar demons to fight. I will tell you the specifics of your duties upon your return."

After some overly formal chatter, Luigi politely excused himself and made his way to the spiral staircase located behind the throne of the noticeably absent Queen of Sarasaland. A short climb later, Luigi found himself in front of an incredibly thick, wooden door. He balled his hand into a fist in order to knock but stopped as soon as the realization set just how much damage he was going to do to his hand in the process of introducing himself.

"I know you're out there," said a raspy voice.

"Good. That saves me from trying to craft a way to knock on your door without shattering my wrist," said Luigi.

"That's what the drawstring is for, genius," replied the voice, as Luigi's eyes focused in on the object dangling in front of his face.

Luigi pulled the drawstring and there was an awful racket posing as a doorbell.

"Hello, I am Luigi."

"Hi, I'm Daisy."

There was an awkward pause between the two.

"I am not tasked with doing anything other than introducing myself at the moment," said Luigi.

"You already have points over your brother, who didn't even do that."

"That sounds like something Mario would do."

There was no response, which led to another pause.

"And with that, I take my leave."

Luigi heard frantic unfastening of the door's numerous security measures and decided to remain in place. A moment later, the door opened, and Daisy revealed herself. The Princess of Sarasaland was a short woman who was thin to the point of looking emaciated. Her brown hair was haphazardly self-cut not out of style or necessity, but of boredom. Her skin was oily and full of bruises and numerous blotches that weren't hidden at all by the ragged, orange and yellow gym wear that she was sporting. Her youthful, brattish appearance hid the fact that she had left her teen years a decade prior.

"Wait," she said.

"Nice to actually see you," said Luigi.

"Come back right after you're done with my dad. That's a demand."

"The way things are going, that was going to happen regardless of if you demanded it or not," said Luigi with a smile.

Daisy rolled her eyes. "No, there's going to be a celebratory whatever and then they'll show you to your room. Once there, you'll fall asleep because you were eating like a pig."

"You can predict the future? Do tell me when I am due for my big lottery win."

"Tomorrow, but you'll be too busy antagonizing me here to know that your numbers finally played."

Luigi, knowing damn well that Daisy could not predict the future, thought deeply about the aforementioned numbers that he indeed did play in Coinship, the Mushroom Kingdom's Lottery. His train of thought was broken by Daisy laughing at him.

"Are you that gullible or are you Mushroom Kingdom types that enslaved by the lottery?" asked Daisy.

Luigi laughed at himself. "Both."

Luigi found the denizens of Chai Castle to be a very hospitable gathering of humans born in the Mushroom World. After what seemed like hours of interminable formality at the celebratory feast that Daisy said would happen, Luigi was showed his room, which was around the corner from the princess' chambers. In order to prove Daisy's prediction wrong, Luigi returned to Daisy's door and decided to give it a knock. The process hurt about as much as Luigi thought it would.

"And here I thought you had fallen out of a window," said Daisy from behind the door.

"I had to scale a mountain of food to get here," responded Luigi.

The door opened. Luigi was not exactly surprised that Daisy had not changed clothing since the last time that they spoke.

"So, you're officially my sworn protector?" asked Daisy with a hint of sarcasm.

"For the week, yes," said Luigi

"Alright, I'm going to set some ground rules. You see this threshold here?" asked Daisy as she motioned down at the doorway. "You are not to cross this unless I specifically give you permission. No, I'm not going to magically fall for you in the next few days and let you in. Get it?"

"Noted. As for rule number two?" asked Luigi.

"That's it," stated Daisy.

"Well, you specifically said 'ground rules' so I was waiting for this lengthy list of dos and don'ts."

"Don't come in here ever. That is all you need to know, Luigi."

"Moving on, you know who had their own pile of food waiting for them on the table?"

"They're still doing that?" asked an annoyed Daisy.

"Sometimes you just have to fall back and accept free food," stated Luigi.

Daisy rolled her eyes. "Free food is overrated when it is all you get,"

"I assume that food is going to make its way to this door eventually."

"Nope."

"Then what do you eat?"

"Scraps."

"Out of the trash?"

"Dinner on my own terms."

"What did you eat when you were on the spacecraft?"

Daisy's interest in the topic visibly increased. "Pastes, powders and jellies. Most of it was tasty."

"You took the food of a kidnapping alien, but constantly refuse that of your own father?" asked Luigi.

"When else was I going to be offered food by a spaceman? Also, Tatanga was very nice."

"Tatanga?"

"That's his name."

"Not sure how one responsible for turning a kingdom into a mindless herd can be seen as nice."

"Tatanga was sent to this planet to obtain a bride, as his kind had been doing for hundreds of years. Anyway, he hypnotized everyone, swooped into the castle, plucked me out of my room, took me to his ship, and was dismayed to see that he was one of the few of his kind whose skin boiled upon contact with that of a human being. That being a thing, he couldn't just up and leave Sarasaland without at least a sign of struggle, so we sat around and talked about life until your brother arrived."

"I assume Tatanga retreated into space after the battle," said Luigi.

"Impossible after what your brother did to his ship," replied Daisy.

"So, he is still here?"

"Still on this planet for the time being. He was never trying to outright hurt anyone, so I wouldn't worry about him anymore."

"Then I will not."

"Good."

"How did Mario treat you?" asked Luigi.

Daisy laughed and shook her head. Luigi wasn't sure how to read that.

"Don't ever let him near an airplane for the rest of his life."

The conversations at Daisy's door continued on for the entirety of the week that Luigi was tasked with subbing in as a royal guard. Upon the rehabilitation of Hien, who had been protecting Daisy for over fifteen years, Luigi was relieved of his duties. As Sarasaland used any excuse to celebrate, another extravagant dinner was thrown, and Daisy surprised everyone by actually showing up. She might have been sporting a not-so regal oversized shirt that went down to her knees, but she was there and eating. A great time was had by all, and the royals made it very clear that Luigi was welcome in Sarasaland any time he wanted to visit. Luigi returned every three months for a number of years until the king died and the princess was thrust upon the throne as queen.

Caught up in the festive chaos since the deciding vote of the referendum, Luigi had been the guest of honor at five different parties in as many different venues on the same block. If he had not put his food down about drinking, he would have no doubt died of liver failure during the second party, which was attended by seemingly every hammer brother in Muraiya. During a subdued gathering hosted by a small number of toads, Luigi was confronted by a representative of Mayor Lin and escorted outside to a covered wagon that had much in common with a modern recreational vehicle. Seated inside of the wagon was Mayor Lin, who showed no negative signs of being awake for an unreasonably long time. She smiled upon seeing Luigi.

"We finally meet, Luigi. I am Lin, new Mayor of Muraiya as selected by the Kingdom of Sarasaland. Have a seat," said Lin, motioning to the plush seating that took up most of the space in the wagon.

"Greetings. I heard that you already disposed of Persimmon," said Luigi, sitting down across from Lin.

Lin smiled. "The former mayor has been relocated. Where she resides is unimportant. Listen, there is a lot that must be said in a very small amount of time, so excuse me if I am curt."

"I understand."

"Luigi, the reality of your time in Muraiya is no secret. It is widely known that you were kidnapped and forced into servitude in the nicest way imaginable. That said, what happened to you has put you in a place where your actions carry more worth than in the Mushroom Kingdom. From repairing warp pipes to being a vital part in getting us here. Luigi, you have no more obligation to Muraiya and are free to return home. However, the people of this fine city, the Kingdom of Sarasaland, and Queen Daisy herself would love for you to remain to take part in projects of great importance."

"Daisy knows I have been here?" asked Luigi, interest rising upon mention of his friend.

"Indeed, and she is currently in a caravan set to make its arrival in less than a week."

Luigi realized that invoking Daisy was a rather cheap move on the part of the new mayor, but the fact remained that it had been years since he had spoken to his friend. While Luigi did listen to the rest of Mayor Lin's pitch, he was set on staying upon the slightest mental whiff of the glory days.

"I would be lying entirely if I told you that I had anything pressing to do back in the Mushroom Kingdom. I will stay here for a while longer."

Mayor Lin smiled. "Fantastic decision."

Luigi was incredibly busy in the days following the referendum. He was given an assortment of roles by Mayor Lin that ranged from keeping an eye on construction as Lesser Minister of Safety to briefing the public on current events as Information Minister. During his fleeting free time, Luigi played Final Smash with Gaspar, who kept his job as a border guard. The open-door policy installed by Sarasaland had made work a rather brainless experience for the shy guy, but he was fine with it as long as he got paid. What he did not cast a blind eye to was the amount of new faces surveying the wall.

Three days before the arrival of Daisy's caravan, Luigi was given what he thought was an impossible task of selling the people of Muraiya on the demolition of the wall that had protected them for years. At the press conference, the news was met with a tepid reaction only due to Luigi's immense celebrity. Elsewhere, the citizens of Muraiya were downright nuclear at the new administration even thinking of such a ridiculous activity.

The municipal complex was overrun with citizens after the announcement was made about the wall's impending collapse. For the entire day, Luigi and the other officials had to run the nightmarish gauntlet of concerned individuals talking at length about the horrors of Bowser, the unmitigated rage of Mario and various issues they had with the outside world as a whole. The angry citizens might have been listened to, but their stories did nothing to alter the plans of the new establishment. With a day left before the arrival of the queen, the protective wall of Muraiya was decommissioned and set for outright demolition in the near future.

"I was told that you wanted to see me," said Mayor Lin to Luigi.

"Tomorrow is the big day, correct?" asked Luigi, not exactly hiding what he was talking about.

"The queen is still on schedule," responded Mayor Lin.

"I have not received any information on my role in the event."

"That is because you will spectate."

"I see," said Luigi with a small nod.

Mayor Lin sighed. "There is much for the queen to do when she arrives. All of it culminating with a great speech to the people. I assume you are wondering when you will get to talk to you friend?"

"Possibly," said Luigi.

"There will be an appointed time after business has been concluded," said Lin.

"And then?"

"She returns to Chai Kingdom."

Luigi did not respond. Lin caught on to his disappointment.

"Speak up. Do you have a problem with the itinerary?" asked a stern Mayor Lin.

"No," said Luigi.

"Good."

The new officials of Muraiya were granted a reprieve from dealing with angry citizens only to end up interminably stressed by the coming of Queen Daisy's caravan. Absolutely nothing was ready for the planned festivities, which caused the already icy mayor to become downright hostile to everyone involved. On more than one occasion, Lin glanced into Luigi's office for support only to be hit by the realization that she had intentionally left him out of the entire process in order to limit his time even thinking about the queen. Mayor Lin knew that keeping the two friends apart for as long as possible was going to lead to blowback, but she felt it was necessary to keep Daisy on task upon reaching Muraiya. The organizational quagmire that the city found itself in ended only after the desperate bribing of two magikoopas who willed everything needed into existence with a flick of their wands. A scant few hours later saw the arrival of the queen's caravan, and everything that could possibly go wrong went a whole lot worse.

The caravan entered Muraiya from its eastern entrance, which had gone nigh-forgotten by the new leaders. So very ignored was the entire region that it became home of a minor bandit group that attacked the wagons on sight. After dispatching of the criminals, members of the caravan went into a general store to get bandages and were fleeced to the tune of two thousand coins.

When the caravan reached west Muraiya, Mayor Lin tried desperately to reverse the mortifying course that the day had taken with the power of pomp and circumstance. The heavily decorated streets were filled with all manners of entertainment unique to Sarasaland and its constituent kingdoms. The general public, still worried about the ramifications of the newly deactivated wall, crowded the sidewalks to the point that many were viewing from precarious positions in the middle of the street. As the caravan drove closer, guards came along and those in the road were stuffed back on the curb. Not ten seconds later, the first fist was thrown and the caravan's route quickly resembled a war zone. The guards, mostly hammer brothers and shy guys, tried desperately to stop the fighting, but had to join the fracas themselves when a sumo brother bit into a magic mushroom and terrorized everyone around him at twice the size. After many brutal hammer swings and sickening impalements via spears, the giant sumo brother fell dead in a bloody heap not thirty feet away from the first wagon of the caravan.

"Mayor Lin!"

Embarrassed and hiding from the world, the new mayor of Muraiya did not even look up at the locked door of her secondary office in the municipal complex.

"There is very important business that needs to be addressed. Please open the door!"

Ignoring the mousy voice of her assistant, the mayor pulled out a bottle of rice wine that she had been hiding in her desk. She had every intention of taking a small swig but ended up guzzling most of the contents in a quick attempt at blacking out and forgetting everything that happened that day. Naturally, it did not even come close to working.

"Mayor Lin, I was trying to ease you into this, but it seems as if my words are no longer worthy of a response. The queen arrived quite a long time ago and grows very impatient. Open the door if you value your position, or so she says."

Only after a long period of pondering the ramifications of abandoning her post did Mayor Lin open the door and was immediately stared down by Queen Daisy.

"My most humble apologies for the continuous failures of my administration. I assure you that the week will not end without the doling out of severe punishment," said Lin as she bowed deeply.

"What were you drinking?" asked Queen Daisy, peering into the office and spotting the bottle of wine on the table.

"Apple cider," lied Lin.

Daisy smiled. "I'm sure the folk down at Veiled Capricorn Winery don't share your dedication to recycling, but what they don't know won't hurt them."

Lin nodded nervously.

"Tell me, Lin, what kind of rickety ship are you sailing here?"

"As addressed in my opening, there have been numerous flaws that will be dealt with in the coming days."

"Members of the caravan were nearly killed, Lin. That is way more than a little flaw. That's a tremendous oversight."

Lin had no answer.

"That said, I don't agree with you painting the other members of your administration as inept. It has been all business since I got in with the only outlier being the lack of a participating mayor," said Daisy, who held eye contact with Lin to an uncomfortable degree.

"What is in need of my signature?" asked Lin.

"Nothing that can't wait a few minutes. I do have a question of my own."

"Yes?"

"Where is Luigi?"

This was the only element of Lin's smoldering plans that stayed on track.

"Luigi is on assignment," said Lin, smiling.

"And what kind of assignment is he on?" asked an obviously distrusting Daisy.

"He is outside of Muraiya at the moment," said Lin.

"Is he?"

"Affirmative."

"That's not what I heard."

Mayor Lin wanted to curse loudly but kept a straight face.

"He was told to stay far away from me until my last day here," said Daisy.

"Who told you that?" asked an increasingly defiant Lin.

"Why?" asked Daisy. "Do you plan on handing out some of that severe punishment of yours on whoever told me?"

"I simply want to tell you if the information that you obtained came from a trustworthy source," said Lin, trying to restrain her heavy breathing.

"How many times are you going to lie to me within a ten-minute span? Tell me where to find Luigi. Tell me now!"

"He is in his dwelling," said Lin, stricken with nervousness.

"The truth shall set you free! Thank you, Mayor Lin. On the official records of our engagement, I just might forget that all of this even happened."

"Do you know where to go?" asked the defeated Lin.

"I knew that a half hour ago."

As much as it pained Mayor Lin to lie to her queen, her reason for resorting to such an action was solid. The very moment that Daisy and Luigi reunited, all official business involving the two was left in limbo. The pair spent extended periods of time inside of Daisy's wagon, and the hours spent out of it saw them inside of various establishments around the city. The press loved the "power couple," and released special editions of their publications every eight hours to keep up with the latest. The fact that the general public ate all of it up infuriated Mayor Lin, but there was no longer anything that she could do to alter the course of history. On the eve of Daisy's departure from Muraiya, she convinced Luigi to return to Sarasaland with her.

With the few parting words that he had saved for Gaspar, Luigi entered Daisy's wagon and made himself comfortable as he waited for the caravan to pull off. After tending to business with the different wagon conductors, the queen joined Luigi, and the two talked excitedly about vacation plans as the caravan departed Muraiya from the east and Bowser's Doomship descended into the city from the west.

 **Author's Note: We're in the end game now! See you soon with the finale!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"I don't get it, Luigi. All you had to do was tell Persimmon to go screw herself right then and there. Instead, you play obedient little puppy even for a few coins and an apartment? If you were that desperate to feel important, then you should have harassed me in Sarasaland. You would have had land, a title, and a place in society years ago!"

"I was trying to step on as few toes as possible."

"Those people stripped you from your home and forced you to work! Who gives a flaming bag of crap about their toes! Luigi, nice guys like you don't make it anywhere in life but the bottom of someone else's shoe. Luckily, you know me."

"Daisy?"

"Yes?"

"The red light on the wagon's intercom has been blinking for a quite a few minutes."

"I saw it."

"Are you going to answer it?"

"No."

"That light is to signify an emergency call, correct?"

"They've been exploiting the system lately. If they want to talk to me, then they can do so to my face."

"Can I answer it?"

"Knock yourself out."

Luigi got off of his seat and took a few steps over to a small panel near the front of the wagon. With a hardly complex two button control scheme governing the communication system, Luigi quickly figured out how to open the channel and began to speak.

"Hello, this is Luigi. Is there an emergency?"

The commercial district of Muraiya was awash in total pandemonium as Bowser's Doomship made an incredibly quick landing on one of the widest boulevards. The various escape routes into General Evacuation all led to doors so heavily reinforced that the burliest of hammer brother could not smash through them. The panicked individuals spilled back into the streets, only to be greeted by the lowering gangway of the Doomship and the high-pitched squeals of its sound system coming online.

"I must tell you guys that I shed a tear before I touched down in this place," said the booming voice of Bowser. "The Enhanced Darkland project was nothing more than the city of the future founded by outcasts and ruled by me. After I retired I never thought that I'd see Enhanced Darkland in anything but my own personal documents, yet here it is in front of my face!"

Bowser, cordless microphone in hand, walked out onto the gangway. Those who had not retreated into the darkest recesses of the city were frozen in place in a mix of fear and curiosity. Combine that with the ever-increasing numbers of the flat out nosy and the potential for a mass casualty event was very high.

"Now that I see my vision fully realized, I'm going to let you guys have it. Maybe I'll buy a summer home when I'm on better terms with the new leadership. What I can't let you guys hang on to is a certain individual that is loved so much around these parts that he was stolen by the previous mayor and kept by the current one. To be clear, you have Luigi and the Mushroom Kingdom wants him back."

Upon Bowser's mention of Luigi, the citizens left on the streets muttered uncomfortably among themselves while avoiding eye contact with the retired tyrant. Some took that opportunity to vacate the area altogether.

"I see a lot of chatter and no action. Mayor Lin, you are ordered by Her Royal Majesty Princess Toadstool, acting on behalf of the Mushroom King to hand Luigi over to me!" demanded Bowser with a tone verging on menacing.

There was an incredible amount of commotion a short distance away that sounded like an immense vehicle plodding onto the scene. Bowser shot a look to his left and smiled widely when he saw a huge tank approaching with its cannon aimed square at him.

"Be still by beating heart! I'm not just looking at Enhanced Darkland. I'm looking, proudly I might add, at how I was going to defend it all those years ago! It seems like all of my former elites made it here!"

"There is nothing here for you!" yelled a nasal voice from the tank's speakers. "Return to your craft and leave or face harsh consequences!"

"Nothing? I may not be in command of an army, but my reach is still the stuff of legends!" responded Bowser. "I know about the apartment in Muraiya Heights. I know about the office in the municipal complex. I know that Luigi is here!"

Without warning, the tank unleashed a fiery blast at the Doomship's exposed flank. The impact was thunderous, but, when the smoke cleared, there was no damage to speak of outside of a minor scorch mark.

"You see that? Top of the line engineering!" said Bowser with a smile. "That focus on quality is what you'll get when you invest in my newest venture!"

Bowser lifted his free hand, allowing a miniature Doomship to flutter down the gangway. The moment that the toy touched Bowser's palm, it was comically reduced into ash by an unseen projectile.

"A sniper?" asked Bowser with almost no concern at all. "How many different ways do you plan on killing me?"

While in the middle of his response, Bowser caught wind of the tank churning another explosive blast. At the very second that he posed his question, all of his senses failed him simultaneously. After a few moments of being conscious, yet unable to jumpstart his body into any kind of activity, Bowser's vision slowly returned to him and he noticed that he had been propelled onto the street a good two hundred feet from the gangway. As he attempted to get back on his feet, he saw an incredibly aggravated Mario exit the Doomship with wicked looking flames spurting from his clenched fist. He leapt from the gangway and, with an unnecessarily stylish twisting flip. Rained flaming hell down on the tank and caused it to detonate with such force that it jolted Bowser's hearing back into gear. Mario then shot a look at a building to his right and hurled a particularly nasty looking ball of flames into its fifth floor. As those inside of the building started spilling out into the street and away from the dramatically escalating situation at hand, Mario, after picking up Bowser's fallen microphone, walked over his former arch-rival and helped him up.

"You okay?" asked Mario.

"I've survived worse," responded Bowser.

Any type of genuine moment the two could have shared between the husk of the tank and the spreading building fire was thoroughly interrupted by the arrival of six more tanks, two small, propeller powered flying vessels, and an enormous amount of armed guards on foot. The rescue was on the cusp of turning into all-out war.

"You still have that star on you, big guy?" asked Mario, opening a pouch on his hip.

"Yup," said Bowser, reaching for his own pouch.

Mayor Lin heard a set of explosions in the distance and sighed heavily as the wagon she shared with a number of officials began its trek back to Sarasaland. Lin had tried to establish contact with Queen Daisy, but the royal was predictably unwilling to respond. After the multiple days of flagrant inaction in Muraiya, not to mention years of conflict with royal and administrative aides, Daisy was seen to Lin as nothing more than detriment to Sarasaland as a whole. Lin firmly believed that the Muraiya Guard would have not seized control of the city and deployed the heavy arms if the queen had put a strong foot down and forced to respect the authority of their interim mayor. Alas, that did not come close to happening, and the new administration of Muraiya was forced to hastily flee the city. Lin's usually chipper assistant broke into tears and begged for the wagon to be turned around as if the combined forces of Mario and Bowser could be taken down by a handful of politicians. Before Lin could properly admonish her helper, the wagon was nearly collided into by a vehicle from the opposite direction.

"Driver, this is Mayor Lin. Do you have any details on whatever nearly killed us?" asked Lin over the intercom.

"You might not believe it, but that was the queen's wagon," responded the driver. Both Luigi and Daisy are inside."

Lin pondered the situation for a few moments.

"Driver. Onwards to Chai Kingdom."

"Are you sure?"

"Do not question me."

Gaspar was defiantly against fighting the foreign menace to Muraiya until he was threatened with treason and forced in the front line of the foot soldiers that had arrived to confront Mario. As there was no hope of anyone carrying a spear or hammer walking out of the Commercial District alive, the shy guy tried his hardest to devise an escape plan. Unfortunately, his train of thought was ground to a halt by Mario activating a star and tearing through the tanks with his temporarily invincible body. The foot soldiers scattered like ants and, in a dark twist, the only individual left on the battlefield of vacant stores, flaming tanks and broken bodies was the one that never wanted to be there to begin with. As Mario approached him, Gaspar threw down his spear and spoke.

"I'm your brother's friend, Gaspar! I refuse to fight you regardless of how much you wreck the city!"

Mario stopped in place, extinguished the flames coursing through his hands, and softened to that of a reasonable human being. Bowser, who had opted out of Mario's chaos at the last minute, smiled widely and limped closer to where the action was.

"I've heard a lot of good things about you," said Mario in a voice far too calm for one who had been the cause of so much destruction.

"Really? I had no idea I was so famous," said Gaspar with a nervous chuckle.

"Stop trying to be so humble, kid," snapped Bowser. What self-respecting card player doesn't know you?"

"But where'd that get me?" shot back Gaspar. He had a small grin on his face, but no one saw it due to the mask.

"If the money isn't rolling in, then even champions need a day job. Nothing wrong with it, kid," said Bowser.

"Anyway," cut in Mario. "This right here is what you call the mother of all terrible first impressions. How about you tell me where the mayor is holding my brother so I can get out of here without any further destruction and loss of life."

"We've changed mayors in the last for weeks."

"I already know about the election and Mayor Lin of Sarasaland running the place. I also know that this place locks up tight when any of us gets within miles. Since we are finally here, I think it is safe to assume that Luigi has been tucked away somewhere. Where is he?" asked Mario.

"Luigi is heading to Sarasaland with Queen Daisy. They both left in a wagon a while ago."

Mario's eyes widened. "A while ago as in what? Last night?"

"No, maybe two hours ago. They left out of the eastern gate."

"All this damn place had to do was be up front with where Luigi was and we would have never touched down!" said an incredibly irritated Mario. "Bowser, I'm going to head east and swoop up my brother. Stomp out anyone who acts out of line."

Mario quickly donned a cape via a feather in his pouch and flew away. As he faded out of view, Bowser decided to call a massive audible.

"Hey Gaspar," said Bowser. I've got a crate of one-up mushrooms in the ship. If we act fast, we could bring back everyone that was snuffed out by Mario."

"What do you need me to do?" asked a curious Gaspar.

"You probably won't believe me, but I'm a toymaker nowadays. I brought a slew of prototypes to show off on the slim chance that the people here forgot that I ruled over most of them with an iron fist. One of them is the PortaFludd Self-Conjuring Water Pack. It packs enough punch to knock out these fires, but it's too small for me to wear. In fact, no one has worn it. If you're willing to be my guinea pig, then we could bring some positive change around these parts," said Bowser, still trying his hardest to sell his life's work even as his opportunity was literally burning to the ground.

"I have nothing to lose at this point. I'm in, big guy," said Gaspar, excitedly. "Just don't let any walls fall on me."

Speeding towards Muraiya was the wagon occupied by Queen Daisy and Luigi, who was being briefed in real time about the destruction done in his name by his brother. Since a showdown with Mario was never something that Luigi had ever planned, Luigi had no idea of how to approach him, or what to do if things turned violent outside of hoping for mercy. Daisy, on the other hand, was searching for some item with which to inflict some form of bodily harm on the vagrant destroying her land. Before Luigi could get into the intricacies of why going after powerful figures with an improvised weapon was a terrible idea, Luigi spotted a familiar flying figure in the horizon. Every second that went by saw the individual get closer until it suddenly landed on the road in front of the wagon, forcing it to come to a screeching halt. After pleading with Daisy to not follow him out, Luigi exited the vehicle to confront Mario: Part time carpenter, hero of the Mushroom Kingdom and loving brother to an absolutely insane degree.

Upon seeing his long-lost brother, Mario sprinted up to Luigi and gave him a tremendous bear hug. Luigi wanted to push Mario away and go on at length about the absolute mess that was enacted in Muraiya, but he was momentarily frozen in place by the tears falling from his brother's eyes.

"I was worried sick about you, brother," said Mario." I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. I would have probably kicked the bucket due to starvation if the unexpected partner I gained didn't pull through."

"I have been gone for much longer than this and didn't get any tears upon my return," said Luigi, a little colder than he meant to be.

"I didn't know where you were, man!" said Mario, who stiffened after Luigi's previous statement. "My mind went to some dark places after hearing that you went deep underground and were never seen again."

"You are here with Bowser?" asked Luigi, changing the subject a bit.

Mario nodded. "You were right all along, brother. He is beyond harmless nowadays. I offered to help get his struggling toy business off the ground in exchange for helping me find you."

"You were right on top of the place a few weeks ago."

"I didn't see anything but a boring mountain range. Bowser was trying to tell me that something was up, but I didn't believe any of that until he tapped his man on the inside."

"Bowser still has spies?" asked Luigi.

"Of course, he does," responded Mario. "It was a koopa that drove for the previous mayor. He gave us all the information from the day you took over the rest stop to a few days after the election. We then lost contact, but what we got was all we needed to get in order to strike."

"Appropriate choice of words," deadpanned Luigi.

Mario sighed. "I did what I had to do."

"You killed people to rescue me from a cozy apartment and a generous stipend?" asked Luigi, boldly.

"How the hell was I supposed to know any of that?" shot back Mario. "Luigi, if you were so damn free to do whatever you wanted as long as it was within the city, then you should have sent me a message!"

"I cannot say that I appreciate the various individuals that have questioned my approach to the situation that I found myself in," said Luigi with irritation.

"Who else got on your case?" asked Mario.

"The queen of the territory that you terrorized," said Luigi, making sure to stress the final word.

Mario rolled his eyes. "Luigi, we were attacked. They blasted Bowser when he was in mid-sentence. What was I going to do? Sit there and accept death because it might upset the guys that stole my brother from me? Listen, I don't know what that woman Persimmon did to you, but it doesn't have you thinking right at all. I'm taking you back to Mushroom and I'm going to get your head unscrambled."

"That is not happening," responded Luigi. "I am slated to be in Sarasaland in the coming days."

Mario shook his head. "I'm not leaving emptyhanded."

"That is exactly what you are going to do!" shouted Luigi. "Muraiya was founded by individuals fleeing Bowser's tyranny and you being a murderous psychopath! They have suffered enough, so please do not make them suffer anymore! Leave!"

With a heavy heart and blinding speed, Mario conjured a large hammer into his hands and swung up towards his brother's chin. Luigi was unconscious long before he hit the ground.

For a man who had been given a brain-rattling wallop via the hammer of the most powerful human in the mushroom world, Luigi felt great. The constant headache brought upon by interminable work was gone. The weak arm and noticeable limp inflicted by Pico, the mouser, had healed. The dizzyingly high heart rate that he had acquired desperately trying to figure out how to stop Mario had lowered to a state of normalcy due to Mario stopping him first and dragging him back to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Luigi rose out of his bed and noticed immediately that the old house of his had been significantly remodeled since the last time that he was there. The rotted wood and scratched windows that were hastily cobbled together were replaced with top of the line material and craftsmanship. On top of a new dresser was a tool bag replacing the one that was lost when the pipe under the castle erupted in his face. Beside the bag there was a note featuring the horrible chicken scratch masquerading as words that was his brother's handwriting.

 _Hey Bro,_

 _Decided to fix the place up when you were gone. Got you some new tools. Better ones. Peach got you some other stuff, but she didn't want me to say that, ha ha! I'll see you later. Maybe for some pasta? Love you, bro._

 _-Mario_

Conspicuous by its absence was any mention of what happened between Luigi getting clobbered and his arrival in the Mushroom Kingdom. Wanting some answers and to check the no doubt awful state of the local transport pipes, Luigi grabbed the tool bag and made his way to Peach Castle, where the strange adventure started.

"I had three hundred coins on you coming back alive," said the toad at the drawbridge.

"How big was the pool?" asked Luigi, not exactly surprised at what he had just heard.

"Most of the castle, and those idiots bet against you," said the toad, obviously more excited for his eventual payday than Luigi's safe return.

"Seriously?"

"I told the other guys that while you might be an oaf, you aren't a particularly squishy one, so there was absolutely no way that you were going to die out there," said the toad with a rather goofy grin.

Luigi nodded and moved on. He was a few steps from the castle's entrance before noticing that the drawbridge guard was following him.

"Do you need something?" asked Luigi.

"I'm going to need your presence for a few seconds,"

Luigi opened the double doors, entered the foyer and was immediately pushed aside by the drawbridge guard.

"Guess who's back! Looks like its time for daddy to get paid!" shouted the toad to the others of his kind that were walking about the castle.

Luigi turned away from the gloating guard and approached a toad that was sweeping the floor.

"Nice to see you back, Luigi," said the janitor.

"Thank you," responded Luigi. "Have you any clue where my brother or the princess ran off to?"

"They left to run a few errands," responded the janitor.

"Both of them? Together?" asked Luigi, incredulously.

"Yep. No idea where, though."

"I see. Hey, did any other strange characters arrive after I was brought back home? Maybe Queen Daisy?" asked Luigi.

"No, unfortunately. I'd love to see Daisy again."

Luigi wrapped up the conversation and decided to take a trip to the east side of the castle. Some distance before his intended destination, Luigi was stopped in his tracks by a flying contraption whizzing past him. Luigi lost sight of the thing and was about to give up on looking for it entirely until it zipped back into view. It was a very well-made miniature representation of one of Bowser's clown cars being flown around by a young toad holding a rather large remote controller. Luigi recognized the kid as the one who ventured underground for a scant two minutes before returning to the safety.

"Mister Luigi!" exclaimed the young toad. "You were down there for a long time. Did you have a lot of fun?"

"To tell the truth, it was a lot of work," replied Luigi with a smile. "What's that?"

"Papa bought it for me. It's COOL!" said the child as he commanded the toy spin around on a cushion of air.

"Can I see it?" asked Luigi.

"Okay," said the child before dropping the toy towards Luigi's hands with no warning. Luckily, Luigi caught it.

"Koop-Di-Loop," said Luigi, reading the whimsically written logo on the side of the device. "Haven't heard of this outfit."

"It's from Bowser! SCARY!"

Luigi was surprised to hear Bowser's name uttered so casually in Peach Castle. He became even more curious what happened after he was knocked unconscious.

"Alright, friend. I am going to head down below and check out the damage. I will see you later," said Luigi.

"Bye!" said the child as he regained control of the toy and flew it down the hall.

Luigi opened the unmarked door and was caught off guard by the great condition of the pipe that led underground. He approached the mouth of the pipe and noticed that the ladder he had installed a while back was replaced with actual suction. Curious, Luigi hopped into the pipe and was smoothly taken to the underground depths of Peach Castle. He was surprised to see that the whole area was well lit by strategically placed lighting sources that were far too high for any human to place without significant help.

"Well, this is impressive," said Luigi out loud as he noticed that every transport pipe below the castle had been replaced. Luigi followed the pipes with his eyes and to do a triple take before his mind processed the fact that the chasm that he had fallen into those months ago had been filled.

"You like it?" asked a voice from the ether.

Luigi turned around and saw that he had been joined by a young magikoopa.

"Is this your handiwork?" asked Luigi.

"It is."

"Well, it is nice to see that the transport pipes were left in good hands during my absence. That said, I am not exactly sure if I am needed anymore," said Luigi only half-jokingly.

"I'm not your replacement, Luigi. I'm your apprentice," said the magikoopa.

"First of all, what is your name?"

"Leon."

"When were you hired, Leon?"

"A few weeks ago."

"Who hired you?"

"Mario and the princess."

"Excuse me?" The thought of those two conducting an interview seemed comical to Luigi. Especially when one actively disliked him. "Well, excuse my disbelief. It has been a long few months."

"No problem, boss," replied Leon.

"First things first, I am sure you took a brief trip to the bottom of what used to be a chasm about a few steps away," said Luigi, motioning to where the scaffolding used to be.

Leon nodded. "Yes."

"Did you happen to see a warp pipe down there?" asked Luigi.

"Not at all."

"What did you see?"

"There was a small landing down there, but nothing out of the ordinary outside of the shrapnel filled water."

Luigi did not believe a word of it, but he refused to press the issue.

"When were you instructed to fill the chasm?" asked Luigi.

"I did it myself as it was incredibly dangerous," replied Leon.

"Very true," said Luigi, nodding approvingly. "Listen, I just woke up not even an hour ago and a lot has changed. How about we reunite tomorrow at noon and we will discuss transport pipes until we are blue in the face."

"No problem, sir. I will see you then," said Leon before teleporting out of sight.

Luigi took the warp back into the castle and sat in one of the incredibly comfortable sofas in the foyer. While a good number of the toads ignored his presence, far more than usual tried to strike up conversation with him. A few had a surprising amount of information of Luigi's exploits in Muraiya.

"Master Luigi," said a particularly well-dressed toad that Luigi recognized as the executive royal aide.

"Yes?" asked Luigi.

"Please join Mario and the princess in the dining quarters."

Mario and Princess Peach were in mid-conversation as Luigi entered the dining room. Peach gave Luigi a nasty sneer before launching into an incredibly fake squeal of delight.

"Oh Luigi, I was so very worried about you," said Peach in a voice that was perhaps more robotic than she had planned, but it was not like she actually cared.

"We both have a ton of surprises for you, brother," said Mario.

Luigi put on a smile as fake as Peach's.

"Have a seat. The first surprise is being brewed up as we speak!" said Mario as he disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Luigi with the princess.

"I do not believe it for a second that you were here weeping over my loss," snapped Luigi.

"Trust me, I wasn't," said Peach.

Peach immediately put on a goofy smile as Mario returned with pitcher filled with a light red liquid.

"Hey bro! I'm back with some Subcon summer tea! I know you love this stuff!"

"Wow, you had to travel for this," said Luigi, licking his lips in anticipation of one of his favorite drinks.

"But I can't have that tea sitting around without company. I've got more!" excitedly said Mario before returning to the kitchen.

"I am assuming that the entire table is going to be filled with food and gifts in the next hour or so," said Luigi to Peach.

"I made both the tea and what's coming up. You better appreciate it, because that's not happening again," said Peach.

Luigi nodded as Mario exited the kitchen with delicious looking apple pie in his hands.

"Peach baked you this mouth-watering apple pie! Bro, take a whiff of this," said Mario as he brought the pie close to Luigi's nose.

"Wow, this does smell good," said Luigi, hoping that the pie was not as bland as Peach's cakes.

Mario set a cup, a plate, a knife and a fork in front of Luigi. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Cut yourself a piece and dig in," said Mario, who took his seat across from the princess. The two then sat in silence as Luigi ate a horribly mangled slice of pie and sipped the tea.

"Everything turned out amazing," said Luigi.

"Of course, it did. I made it," said Peach, leaving modesty to the wind. "Anyway, glad to see you again and all that jazz. Excuse me, I have a kingdom to run."

Peach promptly stood up from the table and left the dining room without looking back at the supposed guest of honor.

"I guess it's just you and I from here on out," said Mario, changing seats to face his brother. "I was trying to use the princess as a crutch, but she was having none of it."

"The princess was perhaps the only normal aspect about the place since I woke up," said Luigi. "What is going on?"

"I'm making you feel appreciated around here," responded Mario.

"To varying results."

"It's damn hard to get everyone on the same page when most people don't care."

"Then why did you not leave me in the city in which people do care?"

"I don't think it's the best time to talk about this. I still have a lot of presents for you," said Mario, obviously uncomfortable.

"You knocked me half dead and dragged my body back home. I think you owe me a little more than tea and apple pie,"

Mario sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything that happened after you knocked me out."

"Daisy pulled out a knife and tried to kill me. She's alright. The driver, who had spiny armor and a death wish, then tried to kill me. He's not alright. I drove that rickety bus back to Muraiya and some hammer brothers tried to kill me. I then dragged you back to the Doomship and holy hell did everyone try to kill me. It would have been a total crap show if Bowser, of all creatures, didn't calm them down."

"Bowser?" asked Luigi.

"He was scheming behind my back the whole time, bro. Trying to get back with his flock through fixing up the city."

"I thought he had a hand in destroying it."

"Nope. Anyway, the guy pulled this crazy story out of his behind about you suffering from some sickness that could only be cured in the Mushroom Kingdom. It was dumb, but they didn't question him. I hauled you on the Doomship and the rest is history."

"That is exactly what happened?" asked Luigi, distrusting his brother.

"I would never lie to you, bro."

Luigi was treated to one of the most upbeat, joyous days that he ever had in the Mushroom Kingdom once he gave up trying to force the reality of the Muraiya situation in his brother's face. A standout moment was Mario walking Luigi just beyond the castle into the vast Toad House right before the payout for Luigi's safe arrival was about to take place. The drawbridge guard was in such rare form that threats were made on his life. When he started flaunting his enormous pile of coins, he caught a miniature fist to the face, which started a small riot that the Mario brothers had to put to an end. It had been ages since Mario had that much fun doing his rounds and he hoped that Luigi would join him more often. Luigi smiled and flattered his brother, but he had no intention of going out with him for a long time.

Luigi returned home in the early morning hours and casually tried to get some sleep. Eyes refusing to even halfway close, Luigi got out of bed, put on a jacket, and went outside. Twenty minutes into a rather aimless walk meant to clear his mind, Luigi felt a sharp, sudden gust of wind and felt a presence nearby. He turned around and saw Leon, his magikoopa apprentice.

"Has there been a sudden rupture, boss?" asked Leon, dressed for work.

"Not at all, Leon. I am just taking a walk," responded Luigi. "How did you know that I was even out here?"

"I was keeping an eye out," responded Leon. "In regards to work, I have to be at your side at all times."

"This is not work," deadpanned Luigi.

"I understand," replied Leon. "Well, I'm going to head back to my place. You should get some sleep, as I'm sure that you have a lot planned for me in a few hours, not to mention the days, weeks and years to come."

Luigi turned his back and walked away upon coming to a bitter realization. With his loving brother hovering around in the day, a magikoopa above his shoulder at night, and a legion of toads filling the gaps, there was no way that Luigi was anything other than a prisoner in and around his Mushroom Kingdom home. Days later there were no updates on Muraiya. There was no more news on Daisy or the abandoned Sarasaland vacation. There was not a single word about any of the friends, acquaintances, or obsessive fanatics that Luigi only recently knew he had. His fable was fabulously fractured, and all that had to happen for there to be a good outcome was for the initial chapter to have never been written in the first place.

 **-END**

 **Author's Note**

 **-Special thanks to everyone who stuck with me to the end. I realize that my lack of updates has been to my personal detriment, but I think it resulted in a much better story. If you are reading this at any point outside of the 2017-2018 period that the story was written in, then you luckily didn't have to deal with my upwards of three-month gaps between chapters.**

 **-I have been working on a Wario-centered story for quite a while now. It is going to be set in the same significantly altered Mario universe that this story was set in, and it going to be as mean spirited, cynical, and crass as a Wario tale should be.**

 **-And with that, I have lots of stuff to read and comment on. Catch you guys in Late August/Early September with some new material!**


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